


Strange and Beautiful Are the Stars

by rookandpawn



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/F, F/M, VM not endgame kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:34:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24538579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rookandpawn/pseuds/rookandpawn
Summary: It's been two years since Tessa and Scott have spoken to each other. Can they find a new way to be together?
Relationships: Scott Moir & Tessa Virtue, Scott Moir/Original Female Character(s), Scott Moir/Tessa Virtue, Tessa Virtue/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 36
Kudos: 117





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [slitheredherefromeden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/slitheredherefromeden/gifts).



> So, I'll get this out of the way at the beginning, T&S are not endgame here, although they do end up happy. If that's not your thing, I totally understand, and might I suggest another story by me or many of the other wonderful VM authors. 
> 
> If you're still with me, I owe a great deal of thanks to Walkinrobe and only_because3. This story wouldn't exist if not for their encouragement. It's been the most incredible experience getting to be friends with such remarkable women.
> 
> Enjoy.

As Scott looks up at the house that he bought on a whim, he’s pretty sure he’s made a mistake. The house is too big for him. Four thousand square feet, five bedrooms and three bathrooms is too much space for a guy who lives by himself and doesn’t even have a dog. It’s also too big for the neighbourhood, looming over the houses on either side, especially the tiny one to the left. It’s a modern monstrosity in a Montreal neighbourhood filled with charming older houses. He doesn’t know what he was thinking. Just that it offered an opportunity to right most of the mistakes he’d made in the last few years, only he’d apparently jumped straight into another one.

But the house was his, so he might as well make the best of it.

He hadn’t told anyone when he was arriving, him and his u-haul packed with everything he’d managed to accomplish in his life. Five Olympic gold medals, an assortment of furniture that didn’t match and boxes of memories that he hasn’t opened in years. The medals and the memories could have their own room in his new, ill advised house. He wanted to unpack and get settled before he had to deal with anyone, a plan that seemed less perfect when he was confronted with a couch that he had no way of moving on his own.

“Would you like a hand with that?” a voice calls to him. He pokes his head out of the truck to find a young red headed woman standing on the porch of the tiny house to the left. If the expression on her face is any indication, she finds his predicament amusing.

“I’m pretty sure I’m a couple minutes away from figuring it out,” he calls back and the grin on her face gets wider.

“Oh, by all means then.” She sits back down on the outdoor couch on her front porch and takes a sip of her drink, watching him as if she’s enjoying a particularly good episode of reality tv.

He tries pushing the couch. He tries pulling the couch. He gives up and sits on the couch. Maybe he could just leave the couch in the U-haul and use it as a second living room? Or third, since there’s already two inside the house. He even considers buying a new couch and having it delivered, before realizing he’s an idiot. It’s not so much a realization as it is confirmation of something he’s known for quite awhile.

“So,” he calls to his neighbour as he swings down from the truck and lands on the ground. “It turns out that moving a couch is a two person job.”

“You don’t say,” she answers in mock surprise.

“Does your offer to help still stand?”

“I wouldn’t be much of a neighbour if it didn’t.” She stands up and comes over to the railing of her porch, leaning over enough that he can finally get a look at her. He notices her hair first, piles and piles of red curly hair that falls down her shoulders and around her face. Several pieces fall into her eyes and she has to bat them away a few times. She’s even younger than he thought, probably not even twenty three and his almost thirty-five year old self probably shouldn’t notice quite how attractive she is. “Just let me go change. I’m still in my pjs.”

“It’s three-thirty,” he answers mostly because he can’t remember the last time he was still in pjs this late in the afternoon.

“It’s Saturday,” she throws back, an eyebrow raised in his direction. “You sure you want to go with judgmental, when I just offered to help?”

“Did that read judgemental? Jealous was how it was supposed to come out.”

She just laughs and heads into the house.

He takes the opportunity of her absence to really take a look at her house. It’s tiny, made to look even more so next to his stupidly large house, and a little bit run down. It’s clear though, that the owner loves it. From the brightly painted teal blue colour, to the riot of disorganized flowers in the front. The lawn is freshly mowed and the couch she was sitting on is piled high with pillows and a blanket, none of which match but still seem to go together.

She isn’t gone long. Returns wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, her hair piled in a precarious looking bun on the top of her head.

“I’m Hannah, by the way.” She offers him her hand.

“Scott,” he says as he takes it. She’s almost as tall as him, just a couple of inches shorter and has a smattering of freckles across her nose.

“Nice to meet you, neighbour.” She drops his hand and heads over to the truck. “So about this couch.”

She swings herself up into the truck and he follows. They both regard the couch with suspicion. It’s not so much heavy as it is awkward.

“Where’s the rest of your family?” she asks as she experimentally shoves the couch forward.

“Ilderton,” he answers without thinking, and she just stares at him. “I’m here alone.”

She just nods and goes to pick up one end of the couch as he positions himself at the other. It takes some maneuvering, a couple breaks, a great deal of sweating, and copious swearing, but they finally get the couch through the front door and to the place he thinks makes sense in the living room.

“Big place for one guy,” she says and her voice echoes off the walls. His living room is so big it has an echo.

“I’m starting to realize that.”

“I’m not here to judge,” she says but her smile says otherwise.

“I feel like you’re judging a little.”

“Oh, I was totally judging you from my front porch. I just feel like it’s rude to judge you in your own cavernous home.”

He’s surprised by the belly laugh that spills out of him. And he laughs for a bit, from relief and entertainment. She just watches him, a cocky smile on her face and then shrugs and walks back to the truck, where she grabs the closest box.

“You don’t have to keep helping.” His offer might be slightly hollow as they can both see that there are several pieces of furniture that are going to require more than one person to move them.

“I don’t know you well enough to watch you go through torture. I might feel differently after you play your crappy music too loud or power wash something before ten am on a weekend, so you should probably take the help while it’s still available.” She says it like a dare.

He picks up another box and follows her into the house. “So we’re clear, you should probably let me know what constitutes crappy music.”

“You’re gonna wanna take notes.”

By the time his U-haul is empty, he knows the following about Hannah Thomas.

She’s a high school music teacher.

She’s truly funny.

She’s not as young as he thought. Twenty-seven, instead of the twenty-three he originally thought.

She thinks his house is as ridiculous as he feared it was.

“On the bright side, you could probably rent it out for yodelling competitions when you’re not home,” she offers from the spot on his couch she collapsed on after carrying the last box into the house. “Or maybe you could install an indoor pool in your dining room.”

He has a dining room. A room he can never see himself using, but he now possesses.

“Skating rink would be a better choice, given my line of work.” She gives him a confused look. “I’m a figuring skating coach.”

“That’s a job you can have and afford a house like this?” she asks, skeptically.

“If you’re very good at it,” he answers.

“I’ll take your word for it.” She doesn’t look like she believes him and, even better, like she has no idea who he is.

“I’d offer you something to drink, but I don’t have anything or any food for that matter.” He’s not even sure he knows which box the glasses are in.

“I hope you’re better at coaching than you are at planning, or else you’re not going to be my neighbour for very long. Maybe they can turn this place into a bowling alley after they repossess it.” She sounds like she’s only fifty percent kidding.

“It’s not that big.”

“Seven people lived here before. Seven.” She pushes herself up from the couch. “You might as well come over and I’ll feed you.”

“You don’t have…” he starts and she levels a glare at him. “That would be very nice of you.”

“Don’t get used to it,” she says as she leads him to the front door. “I’m not usually like this.”

But somehow he suspects she is.

Hannah’s house is tiny.Definitely in comparison to his but he thinks just on its own, tiny. It’s cluttered and crowded, full of books and papers piled on every surface. There's a piano in the corner that dwarfs the room and just enough space for a loveseat and a chair. Even though he much prefers order and tidiness, it feels much more like a home than his probably ever will.

“Do you live by yourself?” he asks as he sits down at a round kitchen table that’s only big enough to seat two chairs. He can’t imagine that anyone else could possibly live there. Every corner of the house looks like it belongs to her.

“Yup. I tried having a fish once, his name was Larry. Larrys two through four followed and then I decided that living alone was preferable to being a fish murderer,” she says, her back to him as she works in the kitchen that’s steps away from where he’s sitting.

“I’m sure the fish appreciate that.”

“Do you want something to drink? I have orange juice, diet coke and water. Full disclosure, I also have milk, but I’m not offering you that because I want to make coffee in the morning and there won’t be enough left if I give you some. It’s important you understand right from the beginning that I’m a selfish bitch.”

He laughs at the idea of her being a selfish bitch and settles on orange juice before she continues to work on dinner.

“It was nice of you to invite me for dinner.”

“You should probably wait until you’ve eaten before you decide if it was nice or not,” she says as she puts a sandwich down in front of him. It’s nothing fancy, just ham and cheese on a white bun and some sour cream and onion chips, but it reminds him of something his mother would serve. “I’d like to claim that I’d have served something more gourmet with notice, but I’m afraid this is as good as it gets.”

She has plenty of funny stories about kids she teaches and he throws in a few of his own from when he was mostly coaching novice and junior teams. Before he knows it, it’s dark outside, and he should head home, but the idea of going back to his giant house fills him with dread. Hannah seems to sense as much and offers him some tea but only if he’ll take it black. This woman takes her morning coffee seriously, which reminds him of another woman who feels the same way. He shakes memories of Tessa away. Ever since he’d arrived in Montreal, she’s haunted every corner of his mind.

“So do you need me to tell you all the cool places to go in Montreal?” she asks as she hands him a mug of black tea.

“I’ve actually lived here before. Back when I was in training.” He hasn’t let himself think about that time much. It was the happiest he'd ever been and the way he knew he’d find a memory around every corner was almost enough to make him turn down the job.

“Oh, thank god. I don’t actually know any cool places.” She pretends to wipe sweat off her forehead. He notices that her tea has milk in it and that makes him laugh.

“My partner knew all the cool places.” His stomach clenches, sometimes it physically hurts to talk about her.

“When you say partner… I ask because we’re living in a modern world, and I have no idea what that means anymore, but just so you know, I’m cool no matter what the answer is.” She’s holding the mug up to her chin but not drinking, and the steam is starting to fog up her glasses.

“Skating partner,” he clarifies and she accepts his answer with a nod. He can tell she doesn’t really know what he means but she’s kind enough not to press. Instead, she fills him in on the garbage, recycling and compost schedule and lets him know that his neighbours on the other side are either drug dealers or running a cult, at least according to neighbourhood gossip. And that he should avoid Joyce across the street because she’s looking for husband number three, since she caught husband number two with his golf buddy, and Scott is just her type. Also, ironically, husband number two’s type.

When she yawns for the third time, he knows he’s overstayed his welcome. Plus he only has a day left to get his life in order before he has to start work on Monday. She doesn’t argue when he says he has to head home, but she does put some muffins in a container to take home with him, because she’s worried he’ll starve to death.

He spends the night on his couch, his bed is in pieces and he doesn’t have the energy to put it together. He tosses and turns all night, partially because his couch isn’t particularly comfortable but mostly because he’s not sure he isn’t making the second biggest mistake of his life.

His biggest mistake was when he told Tessa he never wanted to see her again.

Gadbois is exactly the same as when he left it. Well, it has a new name and mostly new teams but the smell, the feel, the sense of home are all the same. But he’s nervous as he walks through the door, more nervous than he’s been in a long time.

Luckily, the first person he sees is Patch. His former coach greets him with a smile and a bear hug.

“I thought we’d never get you back here.”

“I thought the same thing.” He feels quiet and small, not the Scott he usually shows the world. Patch’s face remains neutral. He’s never known anyone with a better poker face.

“Marie is already on the ice. Let’s check in with her and then we can get started.”

Marie’s greeting is less enthusiastic than her husband’s, which isn’t surprising. He suspects that Patch was the one who wanted him there. He knows she respects him as a coach, he wouldn’t be there otherwise, but it’s going to take some effort to get her to respect him as a person again. Fortunately, he’s ready to put in the time.

The day is a whirlwind. Most of the teams he trained alongside retired after the Olympics and the junior teams are now seniors. It’s strange and somehow pleasing to see them skate with a newfound confidence that didn’t exist when he left. They all greet him like a long lost friend and the new teams look at him like he’s some kind of god. He wants to set them straight, let them know that he’s just a guy with a habit of really fucking things up, but what purpose would that serve? He’s there to make them better at ice dance, and in that at least, he is something of a god.

He, Marie and Patch will be working as a team now that Romain is gone, coaching all the teams together. He’ll focus mostly on the junior teams this year and they’ll re-evaluate at the end of the season. He likes that arrangement just fine. The junior teams inspire him more, the chance to really mould them before they get too set in their ways.

He’s exhausted by the end of the day. The effort to keep a smile on his face and be on his best behaviour is more tiring than anything work related. Work energizes him. Living up to everyone’s expectations, good or bad, drains him.

The last place he wants to go is his enormous empty house, but there’s nowhere else. At least he now has a bed and some groceries. There’s a giant master bedroom on the second floor of his house, but he decided to set up his bed in the smaller bedroom on the main floor. As a result there’s an entire floor of his house that’s empty and unused. He better invite his family to visit soon.

Hannah is not on her front porch when he gets home. He hadn’t seen her on Sunday and he’s surprised how disappointed he is by her absence. His steps slow as he heads to his front door until he notices there’s something waiting for him, then he’s practically running.

There’s a cactus, some Tupperware and a note waiting for him.

Scott,

I wasn’t sure what your track record on plants was, so I figured I’d start with something you shouldn’t be able to kill. He doesn’t have a name but I am partial to Kevin. Also, here are some cookies, which I baked myself and taste tested to make sure they’re edible. I use the recipe on the back of the chocolate chip bag, which I realize is not gourmet, but I don’t understand why you would mess with perfection.

Hannah

P.S. The Tupperware is not a gift. I would like it and my other piece back.

His laugh bounces off the walls of his house as he puts Kevin on the counter by the window.

“I came to return your Tupperware,” he explains in response to her confused expression when she opens her door later that evening.

“I didn’t mean you had to immediately,” she laughs as she opens the door wider. “Do you want to come in and have some tea? I stopped for milk on the way home, so you don’t even have to drink it black.”

“Am I interrupting your practising?” He could hear her piano through the door when he walked up, almost didn’t knock because of it.

“That? No, I was just trying to figure out if I can’t drop some music down for one of the boys in the choir. His voice changed last week,” she explains as she’s filling the kettle.

“That must be annoying?”

“It happens.” She shrugs and plunks down on the couch next to him. She’s wearing a dress and he decides that she hasn’t changed since she came home from work. The dress rides up her legs, exposing more thigh than he thinks she intended, and he’s hit with a pull of desire that he hasn’t felt in a long time. He wouldn’t call Hannah classically beautiful, but she’s definitely pretty. More important, there’s an open playfulness about her that he finds compelling.

“How long have you been a teacher?” he asks while he swallows down his attraction. He doesn’t need that complication in his life right now.

Her nose scrunches up as she thinks. “This is my fifth year.”

The kettle whistles just as he’s about to answer, and she’s up and into the kitchen in a flash. Her level of energy reminds him of his own not so long ago.

“That doesn’t seem possible, aren’t you too young for that?” he says when she returns with two mugs of tea.

“I finished high school early and kind of powered through university.” Another shrug.

“Just that smart?”

“Just that broke. I needed to get to making money as soon as possible.” He senses there’s more to the story and she looks like she’s about to share. She opens and closes her mouth to start talking twice and in the end just smiles and changes the subject. “Anyway, how was your first day at work?”

He answers in broad terms, partially because he’s not willing to discuss all the mixed emotions he has about the day with anyone yet, and partially because she still doesn’t seem to have any idea who he is yet and he’d like to hold on to that for a little longer. He’s not really famous anymore, can walk down the street without people paying any attention to him, especially now that there are new Olympic champs to be excited about. But there’s a level of expectation associated with people knowing who he is that he’d like to avoid for a little longer. At least until she knows him for him.

“So,” she starts drawing out the o’s until he’s laughing. “My friends and I are going on a hike on Sunday and I was wondering if you wanted to come.” He starts to answer and she holds her hand up. “Before you agree, you should know that my friends are a bunch of idiots, someone is going to storm off, usually Alison, and we’ll all give up before the end. But we usually go out for brunch afterwards, so that part’s good.”

“You’re really selling it, here.”

“I think it’s only fair you know what you’re in for. We really are a spectacularly idiotic bunch and almost no exercise is achieved.”

He weighs her invitation for a moment, trying to decide if she’s asking him out on a date or just trying to be nice. In the end he only sees friendship in her face, and finds that maybe he’s a little disappointed that it isn’t a date.

“I’d like to come.”

“You say that now, but you probably won’t feel that way afterwards. But I warned you.” She takes his tea cup and stands. “Not that I’m not enjoying having you here, but I have shit to do, so I’m going to have to kick you out.”

“Right, I have Kevin to get back to.”

It takes her a moment to process what he’s saying, and then she’s in on the joke. “He must be devastated by your absence.”

“I think I can hear him calling me from here. Scoooooot, Scooooot,” he says from the door and her laugh follows him home.

“Tell me about your friends,” he says on the drive to the spot where they’re meeting said friends about a half hour outside the city. She’d shown up on his doorstep right on time and full of energy, despite the early hour. The fact that she’s a morning person shouldn’t come as a surprise and he’s reminded once again that he needs to stop expecting every woman to be Tessa. “What are they like? Other than idiots?”

“Well, Graham is my best friend. We grew up together,” she pauses, looks out the window and back at him before continuing. “He’s not an idiot. His girlfriend’s name is Alison. We all hate her but no one wants to say anything because Graham really likes her and we really like Graham.”

“Why do you hate her?”

“You’ll see,” she sing songs and changes the radio station again. She informed him that since he’d be driving, she doesn’t have a car, she would be in charge of the radio as a service to him. Hannah, he’s discovered, has very particular taste in music. “Then there’s my other best friend Jeanie, and her husband Craig.”

“And how do we feel about Craig?” He wonders if it’s standard to hate all significant others.

“Oh, we might like him better than Jeanie.” So not a significant other problem. Now he really wants to meet Alison. “Then there’s Dee and Ravi. They are not a couple. Dee is woefully single and Ravi is a slut. And I don’t say that to slut shame him but as a piece of information.” She thinks for a moment and then adds, “But also a little to shame him.”

“But you love them.” He can tell Hannah is a woman who has a lot of room for love in her heart.

“Oh, absolutely, even though they’re morons. Individually they are not that dumb, well except for Ravi who’s trying to keep the dudebro stereotype alive. But collectively we are a bunch of morons.” She turns to him exasperated with the radio. “You know this would just be easier if you would just let me put on my playlist.”

Which is how her phone ends up plugged into his car. She does have great taste in music, lots of stuff he’s never heard, some weird covers of songs he does know and then some straight up pop hits, all of which she sings along to under her breath when she’s not talking. Her singing voice is beautiful and he wants desperately to hear it full out.

She asks him about his family and then gets confused by all the relations by the time they arrive at the gravel parking lot at the base of the trail.

“I should probably tell you something before we meet your friends,” he says as he turns off the car.

“Are you in the witness protection program? Your family is connected? You have a garlic fetish? Six toes?”

“You’re very strange,” he says and shakes his head.

“It’s one of my best qualities. I’ve long suspected you had a deep dark secret.” She’s all drama, raised eyebrows and deep voice. Well, as dramatic as someone can be when they’re wearing a backwards baseball cap.

“We’ve only known each other for a week.”

“That’s how long I’ve suspected it. Go on.”

“I’m a little famous.” It feels like such a douchey thing to say to someone and he instantly regrets the words, but he also doesn’t want her to think he was keeping it from her.

“You are? Is your family in the mob? It would explain your taste in houses.” She seems overly excited by the idea.

“No, I won five Olympic medals.”

“In figure skating,” she concludes. “Hence the high paying coaching job. Gotcha. And people know you because of that?”

“Some people. Not as many as used to.”

“Well, thank you for telling me. That’s not as glamorous as the story I dreamed up in my head, but life rarely is,” she says and then gets out of the car. He takes a deep breath to dispel the leftover nerves. She really hasn’t changed how she looked at him at all. He’s not sure why he was so worried.“Five is a lot of medals.”

“More than average,” he says as they head towards a group of people waiting at the edge of the parking lot where the trees start. One of them starts waving frantically at them.

“I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit to my sporting ignorance, but how many Olympics did you have to go to get that many? I feel like the answer is more than one.” He can tell he’s knocked her a little of kilter.

“In my case, three.”

“That also seems like more than average. I will have more questions once I have had time to formulate them,” she announces just as they reach her friends. The frantic waver envelops her in a hug as soon as they’re within reaching distance. Clearly, not the dreaded Alison. “Jeanie, we just saw each other two days ago. That’s a ‘I-haven’t-seen-you-in-months’ hug.”

“Why do you fear love?” Jeanie answers and then ignores Hannah’s attempt at an answer, turning to him instead. “You must be Scott. Do you also fear love?”

“Oh, my god! You’re going to scare him off,” a man, Scott presumes is her husband, says and turns red.

“I’m surprised he isn’t already running for the car,” Hannah says, and steps back to stage whisper. “Told you they’re all idiots.”

Hannah’s friends just nod and laugh and he’s instantly glad he decided to join her. They talk to each other the way so many of his friends do, and he feels more at home than he has since he pulled the U-haul away from his parent’s house. One woman does not laugh along with the group, instead looks offended and moves slightly further away from the group. She’s the only woman wearing makeup and he’s spent enough time around Tessa to know that her outfit costs more than everyone else’s clothes combined.

“Not all of us are idiots. I mean Ravi is an idiot…” the name with the overdressed companion starts.

“Dude!”

“But the rest of us are all fairly intelligent if you ignore Jeanie’s over enthusiasm. I’m Graham.” Hannah’s best friend, a tall guy with an easy smile, extends his hand. “This is my girlfriend, Alison.”

Alison just nods at him and looks back at her nails.

He can feel Hannah stiffen beside him, but she relaxes before he has a chance to put a reassuring hand on her elbow. He’s glad she does because he’s not sure if that’s something they do. They haven’t really touched each other yet and he can’t decide if it would be weird if they did.

“You sort of met Ravi,” Hannah says and then points to the last woman in the group. “And that’s Dee.”

“Oh. My. God. You’re Scott Moir,” Dee responds, vibrating with excitement.

“I am.” His public smile immediately pops onto his face and Hannah looks at him with confusion. He’s only ever given her his private smile.

“Play it cool, Dee,” Graham says.

“You all know who he is?” Hannah looks embarrassed as most of her friends nod.

“I don’t know who you are.” Ravi does not look embarrassed. Scott suspects that embarrassment is not a part of his repertoire.

“He won five Olympic gold medals,” Dee manages to squeak out.

“Like, in a sport?” Ravi again.

“Figure skating,” Scott supplies and suspects he knows what Ravi is going to say.

“So, not like a real sport.”

Bingo.

Both Graham and Hannah hit Ravi at the same time.

“What?”

“You were both so beautiful and in love and it was magical!” The words burst out of Dee like she’d been holding them in and just couldn’t contain them anymore. He watches Hannah to see her reaction, but she just looks confused.

“Why don’t we start the hike,” Craig suggests, shaking his head. And they all start moving.

They’ve only taken a few steps when Alison says, “I knew who you were, I just don’t care.”

The group collectively ignores her and trudges on.

“See,” Hannah whispers to him, and he’s not sure if she’s referring to the confirmation that Alison is indeed as horrible as she suggested or that the whole hike is going to be a disaster, but he finds the whole thing so funny he ends up laughing. She beams back at him.

After the not so great but somehow hilarious start, the hike starts to take a turn for the better. He and Hannah end up at the front of the pack. He’s not sure if it’s because they’re in the best shape or the group collectively decided to give him a break. He suspects the latter because both Graham and Ravi look like they’re in better shape than he is.

“Should I google you when I get home, or is that a story you’d like to tell me yourself?” she asks after a couple moments of silence. He’s touched by the request. It’s not often he gets to explain his life, especially the Tessa part of it, to someone with no preconceived notions.

“I’d love to tell you myself.” He resists the urge to take her hand and kiss it. Not everyone is as comfortable with casual affection as he is and he doesn’t want to give her the wrong impression, especially since he hasn’t figured out what impression he wants to give. “If you don’t mind.”

“Everyone should get to tell their story,” she says and he wonders when he’ll get to hear hers. “Speaking of stories, what’s the deal with your outfit?”

He’d known he’d made a tactical miscalculation as soon as he saw Hannah’s face when he showed up at her house. He’d almost gone in to change, but decided to stand by his choice. He realized his error, when he saw that the other guys were dressed in old t-shirts and sweat shorts.

“You have criticisms about what I’m wearing?” He does a model pose and is rewarded with a barking laugh. Hannah laughs louder and longer than anyone he’s ever met and it might be one of his favourite things about her. 

“You look like a highlighter.” She waves a hand at the bright yellow jersey he’d gotten years ago at a GKP event that’s actually loose on him now compared to when he first wore it. 

“Are you saying yellow isn’t my colour?”

“At least you’ll be easy to find if you get lost in the woods.” She drops her eyes to his hiking shoes, which he bought the day before and are already starting to give him blisters. Everyone else is wearing runners. “You might be disappointed in the quality of this ‘hike.’ It’s mostly a walk in nature.”

“I’ll remember that for next time.”

“The fact that you are even considering doing this again makes me question your sanity.” She shakes her head. 

“I know you intended that as an insult, but I think you roasted yourself more than me.” He kicks a rock at her and she kicks it back, completely missing him.

“I could tell it was going wrong about half way through, but it was too late, so sometimes you just have to insult yourself.”

“I admire your commitment.” He’s about to ask her another question when her stomach rumbles. “That was loud enough that I think my parents heard it in Ontario.”

She smiles at him. It’s the first time he’s dared to sass her back and he can tell that she respects him for it. “I never eat enough breakfast. You think I’d learn, but sadly I am a creature of habit. Worse, I never remember to bring snacks.”

“Good thing I did,” he whispers and pats his backpack.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think I might love you,” she squeals and then immediately looks suspicious. “Wait, they’re not bullshit healthy snacks are they, because I might have to take back my declaration of love.”

“There’s fruit…” She makes a face. “And danishes.”

She’d waxed poetic about danishes the other day when they were taking out their recycling at the same time, like she was just continuing a conversation she was in the middle of before he showed up. When he’d gone to the grocery store to get some snacks for the hike, because he also never ate enough breakfast, he couldn’t resist buying the danishes when he saw them.

“What flavour?” she asks and then mumbles under breath, “don’t say apple, don’t say apple.”

“Cherry and lemon,” he answers through another laugh.

“Turns out I do love you after all.” When she swings her arm around his shoulders, he decides that she must just be interested in him as a friend. You don’t just casually tell someone you want to date that you love them, even as a joke. And then, he can’t decide how he feels about that revelation, even though he thought he just wanted to be friends too.

“You have monopolized Hannah long enough. I want to walk with her now,” Jeanie announces as she catches up with them. Hannah rolls her eyes at her friend, but drops back to walk with her after Scott gives her a nod to go ahead. After the group reshuffles, he somehow ends up walking with Graham and Alison with Hannah and Jeanie right behind them.

“You’re a Leafs fan?” Graham asks him pointing at Scott’s baseball hat. 

“I am,” he admits and braces himself for the shittalk that’s sure to follow.

“Me too. My dad wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Scott’s about to launch into deep hockey talk when Hannah interrupts them.

“Gray,” Hannah calls up to them, and Alison makes a disapproving click but doesn’t say anything. “Did you finish your report cards?”

“Almost. You?”

Hannah just makes a pained noise in response and goes back to talking to Jeannie.

“Do you guys work together?”

Graham nods and adds, “I teach PE at Hannah’s school.”

“He got her the job.” It’s the first thing Alison’s said to him since she informed him she didn’t care about who he was.

“More like I told her there was a job opening and said she was cool when the principal asked.” Graham shrugs. Clearly, this was a conversation they’d had before and hadn’t been resolved to anyone’s satisfaction.

“And you grew up together?”

Graham looks at Scott carefully before he answers, as if he’s trying to decide how much he gets to know. “She lived across the street. We’ve known each other for almost twenty years.”

“It’s great that you’re still friends.” He could have that too if he hadn’t fucked things up so royally. He’s about to let himself fall into a funk when he’s distracted by a pinecone hitting him in the back of the head. When he turns around, Hannah’s sticking her tongue out at him.

He’s looking for a revenge pinecone when they come across a group of twenty-something women sitting beside the trail. Ravi immediately goes over to them and two of them giggle as he approaches. The third looks like she might be in pain.

“Here we go,” Graham and Hannah say at the same time, and high five.

“How many numbers do you think he’s going to walk away with?” Jeanie asks as she wraps her arms around her husband’s waist. Alison sighs and pulls out her phone, before walking away from the group.

“The way they’re batting their eyelashes at him, I’d say all three,” Craig answers.

“Is something wrong?” Ravi asks.

“Lauren tripped over something and hurt her ankle.” One of them explains and points at a root system that crosses the trail.

“Scott’s shirt could function as a caution cone. We could leave him behind as a warning to other hikers,” Hannah says and then gives him a quick hug when he pouts in her direction, and then stands close enough to him that their shoulders are touching. Does the hug to the not just friends column and why is he keeping a tally.

“We think she broke her ankle,” another woman explains. Lauren, the injured party, just sits up straighter and pushes her boobs out a bit.

“Probably just a sprain, do you want me to take a look at it? I’m a doctor.” The women twitter in excitement as Ravi gives them a huge smile and kneels down to tend to Lauren.

“Ravi’s a doctor?” he asks Hannah.

“Anesthesiologist,” Craig explains. Dee looks like she’s finally worked up the courage to say something but just squeaks and turns red instead.

“We were surprised too,” Hannah whispers to him. The sound of her voice and her proximity make him shiver.

“Well, the good news is it’s probably not broken, but you should probably get an xray just to be sure,” Ravi says and Lauren starts crying but in a pretty way, which makes Scott suspect that she’s really not that upset. 

After a great deal of discussion, and to no one’s surprise, Ravi offers to take Lauren to the hospital. He ends up waving goodbye to them with a limping but ecstatic Lauren draped around him and her friends trailing behind.

“Everytime,” Craig says as they start walking again. Scott ends up walking with Dee, who turns red and refuses to look at him, when Jeanie grabs Hannah’s hand and insists they walk together.

“That’s why I refuse to carpool with him,” Hannah answers. “He’d end up dumping me for some chick he met on the trail and then I’d have to ride home with Gray and Alison.”

“But no matter what she says about Graham, I’m actually her best friend,” Jeanie calls, and Graham just laughs while Hannah groans.

“I’m going back to walking with Scott, if you don’t quit it.” Hannah threatens but he already knows her well enough to tell she’s joking.

“Well, you could but the view back here is way better.”

“Stop ogling Scott’s butt!” Hannah squeaks.

“Whatever, you were too.”

“Yes, but I was being classy about it.” Hannah’s checking out his butt? Score another one in the not just friends category.

“Hey, I’m offended!” Graham shouts. “I feel like it’s only fair that I get my ass appreciated as much as the new guy.”

“Yours isn’t as good,” Jeannie answers.

“I don’t know, Gray’s butt is pretty good,” Hannah answers and now he’s not sure if butt appreciation belongs in the not just friends category. Maybe she just appreciates all her friend’s assets.

“You are all such children!” Alison explodes, surprising only him.

“Here we go,” Dee mutters and then looks at him, turns red and looks away.

“Allie,” Graham starts.

“Don’t ‘Allie’ me, I’m so tired of this! I didn’t even want to come and you promised me it would be different.”

“We were…” Scott starts but Hannah stops him with a hand on his arm and a shake of her head. She leaves her hand there. Another mark in the not just friends category.

“You know that everyone was joking,” Graham tries but she’s already halfway down the trail.

Hannah lets go of his arm and goes over to Graham, puts her hand on his arm the same way she did to him. So it’s a friend thing then. “Do you want to go after her?”

“She’ll be mad at me for hours.” Graham shakes his head and puts his hand on hers and they lean their heads together unconsciously. They make a pretty picture, the two of them surrounded by trees, looking away from the rest of the group. It reminds him of the past and he has to look away.

“So brunch then?” Craig says clapping his hands together.

“I don’t even know why we try,” Jeanie says as she slips her hand into her husband’s.

“Tradition? We’re masochists? Insanity?” Hannah answers. She bumps her hip against Graham’s and then walks back over to Scott. “I’d apologize but this pretty much how I said it would go.”

As they head back in the direction they started, Dee looks up at him and finally manages to squeak out, “This has been fun,” before turning red and leaving to walk with Jeanie and Craig.

“You’re scaring away forest animals with your laugh,” he says to Hannah who’s in near hysterics at her friend’s continual response to him.

“Oh, Scott,” she stops and puts her hand on his shoulder. “They were scared off long ago when they saw your shirt.”

With that he lets himself laugh as long and loud as she does.

Luckily he has a shirt to change into in the car, the shirt not the nicest thing to subject other patrons to, and he checks to see if Hannah is watching him change but she’s too busy talking to Graham to notice. Or possibly she’s just being polite. Either way, he’s still not sure why he cares. 

Brunch is an entertaining and loud affair with everyone talking at the same time, sometimes about their shared history, but he participates more than he expected. He ends up sitting on a bench beside Hannah, and she sits closer to him than expected, and he’s not sure if it’s on purpose because she wants to or because Graham is taking up more space than necessary. No one asks about skating or medals or Tessa and he couldn’t be more grateful. Dee looks like she desperately wants to, but only manages some unintelligible squeaks whenever she turns in his direction. 

Hannah surprises him by how often she hangs back during the conversation. Sometimes taking centre stage in the conversation, but more often than not, taking a backseat and just listening, as if she needs a break from all the people and energy. He can see why she lives alone. 

The meal goes on for hours and the restaurant owners don’t seem to mind, spending time at the table and joining in on the joking. He finds out later that they go there once a month, after their hikes when weather permits and straight there when the winter comes. He’s full and happy by the time the bill comes. Happier than he’s been in a long time and he thinks part of his contentment comes from the way Hannah’s leg feels pressed up against his. 

After some debate, he volunteers to drive Graham home, and the way Hannah beams at him makes any inconvenience worthwhile.

“Jeanie has some books for me. Back in a sec,” she tells the two men, and then jogs over to where Jeanie and Craig parked their car.

“She’ll be at least ten minutes, if not longer. Those two can talk for hours, usually at the same time,” Graham informs Scott and then leans his elbows on the roof of Scott’s car.

“I’m sorry about what happened with Alison,” he says when he fails to come up with anything better to say.

“She’s actually not like that normally.” Graham shrugs but there’s an edge to his voice that makes Scott sure he’s annoyed. “She just doesn’t understand my relationship with Hannah.”

“What should she understand?” Graham’s declaration sounds like information for Scott as much as for Alison.

“That I love Hannah more than almost anyone in the world, and I will do anything to keep her safe. She’s my best friend, but I’m not in love with her.” He looks Scott straight in the eye as he says it, unflinching.

“Noted.”

“So if Alison wants to be a part of my life, then she needs to accept my relationship with Hannah because if I have to make a choice, Hannah’s who I’m going to choose every time.” He gives Scott one final look before he turns his attention to the group across the parking lot. “Han, get moving! Daylight’s burning.”

“I’m coming.” She doesn’t bother to look at him and immediately goes back to talking to Jeanie. Craig looks over at them and gives an exasperated look.

“Liar!” Graham calls back.

Hannah looks over at them and smiles before turning back to her conversation. “Well, if anyone can understand a complicated friendship, it’s me.” 

“I bet.” Graham raises an eyebrow, so he must know more about Scott’s history after all. “I know I’m going to sound like an overprotective jerk, but just be careful with her. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but Han doesn’t let people into her life easily, so if she picked you to have around, she must think you’re worth it. But I don’t think she can handle another person hurting her, so if you think that’s going to happen, you should walk away now.”

He’s not surprised by Graham’s words, could pretty much have given the same speech about Tessa. “I just want to be her friend.”

“No guy who just wants to be friends, spends that much time checking out said friend,” he says and then swings himself into the car.

“What were you guys talking about?” Hannah’s arrival leaves him no time to consider Graham’s words.

“Nothing much,” he mumbles.

She’s immediately distracted by Graham and doesn’t hear. “Hey, asshole, I’m riding shotgun,” she calls and heads around to the passenger side of the car as Graham laughs at her. 

He takes a deep breath, doesn’t get the clarity he was hoping for, and climbs into the car.

It’s so early in the morning he thinks he must be seeing things when he walks out of his house at the same Hannah does. He hasn’t seen her in a couple of days, which isn’t uncommon, but he has missed her.

“You’re up early,” he calls to her.

“It’s Wednesday,” she answers and squints at him. Her voice is gravelly, as if she just woke up and he’s the first person she’s spoken too. 

“It’s definitely Wednesday, but I’m not sure that entirely explains why you’re leaving your house at six am.”

“Oh, I have choir rehearsal at seven,” she explains as she meets him in front of his house. “I forget that you’re new and don’t already know everything about my life. Do you leave this early every morning?”

“Every day except Sunday.” And earlier some days, but she already looks horrified so he leaves out that detail. “Do you want a ride to school?”

“Nah, I like the walk.” He’s always surprised by her ease with her lack of car. “You should try it. Your rink is on the way to my school.”

“Too much to carry.”

“You’re telling me that an Olympic athlete can’t carry his skate bag for a fifteen minute walk? Is that what you’re saying?” She gives him a look that makes him laugh.

“How about next week?” She nods and then winces when she adjusts the strap of her messenger bag. “You ok?”

“I must have slept funny, my shoulder’s all screwed up this morning.” She winces again as she points at the spot that’s bothering her.

“Do you want me to take a look at it?” He spent years sorting out Tessa’s various knots and kinks.

“I… I guess so,”

She puts her bag down on the ground as he moves to stand behind her. She shivers when he moves her hair off her shoulder, he assumes because it’s chilly for a June morning and she’s only wearing a thin cardigan over her sundress. 

“Is this the spot?” he asks as his fingers find bare skin and she shivers again.

“Mhm,” she mumbles.

He finds the knot immediately, hard under his fingertips while the rest of her skin is soft and pliable. She groans a couple of times while he massages the kink out of her shoulder, and it shouldn’t be arousing, but somehow is.

“That should help,” he says and lets his hands linger on her upper arms before pulling away.

She’s moving her neck in circles when he comes around to face her. There’s a faint blush across her cheeks and he wonders if he wasn’t the only one affected. “It did. Thank you.”

She picks up her bag and smiles, starts to leave but he stops her. 

“Do you want to have dinner at my place tonight?” The invitation takes them both by surprise.

“Uh…” she blinks twice before she answers. “Sure. Can I bring anything? Dessert?”

“Sure, dessert.”

She starts to walk away and then stops. “I’m just going to buy something though, because I’m not trying to impress you.”

“I expect no less.”

She waves to him as she walks away and he watches her until she turns the corner and then gets into his car.

“I couldn’t decide what to get for dessert so I went with cake and ice cream, because who doesn’t like cake and ice cream,” she informs him, holding up some grocery bags when he lets her into the house later that night. “And if you don’t like cake and ice cream, then frankly you don’t deserve dessert.”

“I like cake and ice cream.” He takes the bags from her and she follows him to the kitchen, sits down at one of the bar stools at the kitchen island and watches him put her purchases away. They haven’t spent much time at his place, always seeming to end up at her house, but she looks comfortable in his space which puts his mind at ease.

“Also I picked vanilla cake. I know chocolate is everyone’s favourite but I like vanilla cake and I figured then at least one of us would eat it, and if I brought chocolate but you were like me and liked vanilla then no one would.”

He laughs at her reasoning as she deposits her sweater on the back of her chair. “You’ve thought about this more than I would have.”

“Scott, you should know that I think about everything too much.” She shakes her head. “The echo isn’t as bad now that there’s some furniture in here.”

“I need to get more, but I hate shopping for stuff like that. Do you want something to drink?” He actually likes going to the grocery store so his fridge is full even if his house isn’t. “I have diet coke, because I know you drink that like water…”

“Please do not point out my bad habits, I don’t point out yours.”

“You don’t?” He raises one eyebrow and she snorts.

“Alright I do,” she concedes “But you were raised better than me. Don’t disappoint your mother.” 

“I could also get you something stronger if you prefer.” He has a nice bottle of white chilling in the fridge and a red in the cupboard he can substitute if necessary. 

“I don’t drink.” Her eyes flicker around the room, looking everywhere but him, before she takes a deep breath and settles herself. “My family is rife with substance abuse issues, so I figure why take a chance.”

“Does it bother you if I drink?” he asks as he puts a glass of diet coke in front of her. It’s the most she’s ever said about her family and he’s not sure how to process the information just yet.

She thinks for a moment before asking, “Do you want the real answer or the one I usually give people?”

“I think I want the real answer.” It’s time he started dealing with real answers.

“It doesn’t bother me when people drink but it makes me really uncomfortable when people get drunk.” She looks up from her hands to meet his eye. “I want to run and hide, but I don’t usually tell people that because it’s a me problem. I’m not sure why I’m telling you.”

He resists the urge to go around to the other side of the island and hug her, because he’s not sure if that’s what she needs or if that’s something they do. Instead he gives her hand a quick squeeze before changing the subject.

“Are you allergic to anything? I probably should have asked before I planned out the whole meal.” He can’t remember her having any special requests at brunch. 

“Just ragweed, so you’re probably safe.” 

“Well there goes my plan to make sauteed ragweed served on a bed of ragweed.” He throws his arms up in the air and she laughs as loudly as he was hoping. “How does steak and baked potatoes sound?”

“Like heaven. Can I do something to help?” she offers and it takes him just a second to remember that this particular woman knows her way around the kitchen, and he’s proud the comparison only lasted for a second.

She ends up standing beside him, chopping up and assembling the salad while he works on the rest of the meal. She tells him about her day, her description and demonstration of one of her student’s inability to follow even basic choreography, has him in stitches.

Over dinner, he tells her about his day. He has to explain everything about skating as she’s genuinely had no exposure to the sport. She thinks the names of the moves are funny, especially the choctaw, which she insists has to have some sort of sexual meaning.

While they do the dishes, she tells him that Ravi did get all three of the friends phone numbers and how there was a major argument when all three discovered the truth and decided that none of them would date him to protect their friendship, but that now they’re all dating him in secret, along with the nurse he met at the hospital.

“Well, the nurse thing isn’t a secret but I imagine she wouldn’t be thrilled,” Hannah explains as they take their cake and ice cream into the living room and settle on the couch.

“What’s he going to do when they all find out?”

“Oh, he’ll have moved on by the time that happens. Ravi rarely stays long enough to get caught.” She takes a giant forkful of cake and ice cream, and then moans in appreciation. Hannah has a habit of vocalizing her pleasures in life and she seems to find a great deal of life pleasurable. “But I’m worried I’ve given you the wrong impression. Sure he’s an idiot and a first degree slut but he’d also give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. If I ever had an emergency he’d be the second person I’d call after Graham.”

“Even before Jeanie?”

“Definitely.” She licks her spoon clean and he watches with more interest than he should. “But don’t tell her that.”

He laughs at the panicked look in her eyes. “I would never. I like your friends.”

“They’re ok,” she says with a fond smile. “Tell me about your friends.”

“How about I tell you about my partner, Tessa.” He’d made a decision that he was going to tell her about his past when he invited her over for dinner.

“I’d like that.” She places her half eaten cake on the coffee table and turns to give him her full attention. “Dee said you two were in love.”

“Tessa was my partner and we won five Olympic medals together, but you already know that.” She just nods and waits for him to continue. “But more important than that, she was my everything. We grew up together, we were partners for twenty two years. It was never Scott and Tessa, it was Scottandtessa. There was no separation between us and I didn’t mind that, but it made it easy for the world to think we were in love.”

“Were you?” He checks her face to see if she has some preconceived answer in her head, but it’s the same Hannah looking back at him as all the times before.

“I was in love with her. She wasn't in love with me.” She nods and waits for him to continue. “Graham told me he loves you more than anyone in the world and would do anything to keep you safe, and that’s how I felt about Tessa.”

“I wish he would stop telling people that,” she sighs and plays with the ends of her hair. He’s seen her do it before when she gets uncomfortable.

“Because it’s not true?”

“It is true for both of us but it gives people the wrong idea.” 

“The way Tessa and I were when we were together gave people the wrong idea too. Mostly my girlfriends misunderstood, but occasionally it was me.” He takes a deep breath before he continues because this is the part where he deservedly looks like an asshole. “And I thought the only way I could solve both those problems was by telling her that I didn’t want her in my life anymore.”

“Oh!” Her eyes go wide, but she keeps holding his hand.

“I got engaged and we retired and I haven’t seen her or really talked to her since. It’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.” If he could go back, if he could change one thing in his life, that’s the moment he would change. He’d give up the gold medals and the accolades for the chance. The look of hurt and confusion on Tessa’s face when he told her that he never wanted to see her again haunts him everytime he closes his eyes. 

He checks to see if Hannah wears the same expression, she just looks confused.

“I…I don’t know what to say.” 

“Are you disappointed in me?” He knows the disappointment that his friends and family have for him is justified. Hell, he’s more disappointed in himself than anyone else is, but he liked having someone who didn’t feel that way about him.

“No!” she says and then realizes how loudly she spoke and kind of laughs at herself. Grabs his hand tighter. “No, sorry. We all make mistakes, Scott. I just have so many questions and I’m trying to decide what order to ask them in. ”

“You can ask me any question you want.” He’s so relieved that she doesn’t hate him that all he wants to do is hug her, but again he resists the temptation.

“You were engaged?” Her voice almost cracks in surprise on the word engaged. 

“I was. Turns out my inability to have a successful relationship had nothing to do with Tessa and everything to do with me.” His failed engagement is second on his regrets list. He really had loved her. Just not enough. “We both tried to make it work, but in the end we agreed that we had rushed into something that didn’t have a solid foundation.”

“At least you figured it out before you got married.”

“It was literally the only good decision I made around that time.” There was also a decision about farming and some questionable haircuts that he decides to share with her at a later time. “But I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out who I really am and what I need and that’s how I ended up here in Montreal. It was the last place I was truly happy.”

She nods and then nods again, continues nodding until he gives her a look. “Sorry, I’m processing.”

While she processes, he takes a bite of his cake.

“And here I was thinking you were some uncomplicated guy who just happened to buy a very large house,” she says and he almost spits his cake out in laughter. “In retrospect, the house should have been a clue that there was something much deeper going on.”

“Sorry to be a complicated mess.”

“I have good news for you,” she says and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Complicated messes are my favourite.”

When she says it, relief floods through his body. He wasn’t sure why he was convinced she was going to run in the opposite direction when he told her the truth, but he’s glad he was wrong.

“So you haven’t spoken to her at all since then?” she asks as she takes the dirty plates to the kitchen and turns on the kettle to make another round of tea.

“Not that wasn’t business related and not in almost a year now.” It’s hard for him to wrap his mind around the idea that he hasn’t spoken to or seen Tessa in that long. There was a time when going a month without speaking felt like an eternity. 

He hates that Tessa feels more like a memory than an actuality.

“How personal am I allowed to get with these questions?” she asks with the safety of an island counter between them.

All the answers that pop into his head make him sound like a pervert, so he goes with, “Why don’t you ask your questions and I’ll see if I feel comfortable answering them.”

“Are you still in love with her?”

“No.” The answer comes out easier than he expected. He knows he’ll always love her, but he’s long since stopped being in love with her.

“Why didn’t she love you back?” He likes that she looks mystified that anyone wouldn’t love him back. No one has looked at him like that in a long time.

“That’s Tessa’s story to tell.” He won’t betray her like that.

“That’s like the best answer you could have given,” Hannah says as she brings him a new cup of tea.

“Just how I like it,” he says after he takes a sip.

“It’s very important to know how someone takes their tea.” She nods and he feels like he’s been given a great piece of wisdom. “Milk and a generous, some say ridiculous, amount of sugar.”

“Noted.”

“Ok, two more questions and then we will leave this subject for the evening, because I have to work tomorrow and it is already past my bedtime.” He’s shocked to discover that it’s already ten thirty, which is past his bedtime too.

“Do you want to fix it?”

“I want nothing more.”

“Then why haven’t you?”

“Because I’m terrified that it’s too broken to fix.”

Hannah puts down her tea and takes his and places it on the coffee table and then wraps her arms around him. He’s never been so grateful for a hug in his life. She holds him for longer than he expects, longer than he deserves. She pats him on the back several times before she lets him go. 

When he arrives home from work the next day, Hannah is standing in front of her house, one hand cradled in the other and looking confused.

“You ok?”

She’s incredibly pale.

“I cut my hand open, and I was going to take the bus to the hospital, but then I got a little woozy and I was just considering sitting down and rethinking my plan.” She holds up her left hand, which is covered in an increasingly blood soaked tea towel, and sways a little.

“Come on, get in the car.” He puts his hand on her back to guide her when she doesn’t start moving.

“I could take a cab. Or call Graham.” There’s a stubborn set to her jaw that he’s never seen before.

“Or I could just take you since I’m already here.”

She looks like she’s going to argue and then suddenly deflates. “Okay.”

It’s not a long drive to the hospital, but would have taken her forever if she’d taken the bus. She’s quite on the drive, leaning her head against the window, looking like she’s on the verge of tears, but refusing to cry. He debates putting a comforting hand on her knee, not sure if that would be appropriate and then does it anyway because she looks terrified.

“I don’t like hospitals.” She reaches across her body to grab onto the hand on her knee. 

“How did you cut your hand?” he asks to distract her.

“I was trying to fix my sink and the wrench slipped. I’m usually good with tools, Gray’s dad made sure.” 

Graham’s dad, not her dad. A piece of information he catalogues away for later.

“Accidents happen,” he reassures her, just as they pull into the parking lot.

Luckily, Emergency isn’t very busy, and the nurse tells her that she probably won’t have to wait long before she gets to see a doctor.

“You can go home if you want. I can take the bus home,” she informs him as they settle into the cold plastic waiting room seats. There’s a man who is sweating profusely and looks like he’s about to vomit across from them and a woman holding a crying child a few seats down.

“I’m not leaving you.” He can’t believe she would even think he would.

“I don’t like being a burden to people.”

“It’s not a burden. You’re my friend. I’d just go home and worry about you anyway.”

She looks like she’s going to argue and then suddenly gives in and sinks into her seat. They drift into silence. The whole waiting room surprisingly quiet, except for the occasional sob from the small child and the groans from the man who looks increasingly green.

“I’ve been thinking about your Tessa problem,” she whispers.

“We don’t have to talk about that now.”

“I need something to distract me or all I’m going to do is think about how much my hand hurts or when that guy finally blows chunks, if any of it is going to land on us.”

He looks at the man, does some mental calculations and then moves to the chair on the other side of her. “Let's talk about Tessa.” 

“So, I have been through a lot of court mandated therapy, we can talk about why another time.” He thinks she might be kidding, but he adds this piece of information to the list of interesting tidbits about Hannah Thomas he has in his brain. “And most of it was significantly unhelpful but there was one doctor who taught me this technique to manage my anxiety and I think it would work in this situation.”

“Ok.”

“So imagine that you talk to Tessa and the best possible thing happens. What would that be?” The nurse calls the man’s name and he shuffles away while Scott thinks. What does that look like for him and Tessa? “Dee says that the dream is, Tessa falls into your arms and you get married and have many skating babies.”

“You’ve discussed this with Dee?” He’s not sure how he feels about that.

“God, no. She’s sent me several texts with her thoughts.” Hannah rolls her eyes. “So is that the dream for you?”

“No, that’s… that’s not in the cards for us.”

“Ok, then what? It’s ok to say it out loud. It doesn’t make it any less likely to happen.” She shoves him with her shoulder and smiles. She still looks too pale for his liking but the talking does seem to have calmed her down.

“We’d go back to being best friends but better, because there wouldn’t be this guilt and anger between us. We’d skate together again, because god, I miss that so much, and we’d work together. Maybe she’d coach with me or at least do choreo or consulting.”

“Perfect. And what’s the worst thing that could happen?” When he doesn’t answer, because he’s actually terrified of the worst thing, she prompts, “she slaps you in the face and then spits at your feet before storming out of the room?”

He laughs at the idea of Tessa, controlled, measured, sweet Tessa ever doing something that dramatic. “No, she would never.”

“Then?”

“The worst would be if she just didn’t care anymore. At least if she was angry, I’d know that I could work on getting her to forgive me. But if she was indifferent, then I’d know it was the end.” It would crush him if she didn’t care anymore and why he’s never made the phone call.

“So, the good news is what will actually happen likely lies in between the best and worse case scenario.”

Although her logic makes sense, he’s not entirely convinced. “But what if the worst happens?”

“Then at least you know and you have some good friends around to get you through it.” He gives his hand a squeeze. “And then there’s also the other possibility. What if the best happens?”

She stares him down until he sighs and says, “I’ll call her tomorrow.”

She smiles at him a full and delighted grin, just as the nurse calls her name, and the grin immediately disappears. 

“You can bring your boyfriend with you, honey,” the nurse says when she sees the terrified look on Hannah’s face.

Hannah’s brain seems to short circuit when the nurse says boyfriend, so he just gets up and joins her, throwing a wink in Hannah’s direction. They aren’t in the examining room long, not even enough time to start a conversation, before a familiar face walks in.

“Ravi!” she calls out, visibly relieved.

“I heard my best girl was here.”

“You tell every girl she’s your best girl,” she smirks at him and he shrugs in response. Scott watches as she reluctantly puts her towel wrapped hand into Ravi’s waiting one.

“Gross,” Ravi says as he reveals her very bloody hand. Scott’s not really squeamish when it comes to blood, you can’t really be a figure skater and not know how to deal with nicks and cuts, but his stomach rolls a little at the sight of her hand. “Who’d you get in a fight with this time?”

“My sink. Or my wrench. One of them is at fault.” She winces as he examines her hand.

“Some people call plumbers and avoid trips to the emergency room.”

“Some people don’t make doctor money and know how to do things other than look pretty.”

“I am really pretty,” Ravi agrees, and flashes a smile. Even Scott has to agree that he is very pretty. “So this is going to need stitches and then I’ll send you on your way.”

“You’re going to put in my stitches?” Hannah’s skepticism fills the room and spills out into the hall.

“I’m a doctor.” He ignores her and starts preparing her stitches. “Scott, tell her I’m a doctor.”

“He’s a doctor, Hannah,” he deadpans.

“He’s an anesthesiologist.” 

“And yet they still made me go to medical school…” Ravi says and starts working on Hannah’s hand. She’s outraged enough that she barely notices. “...where they made me learn important doctor things like putting in stitches.”

Hannah just huffs and looks away while Scott tries to swallow the laugh bubbling in his chest.

“Thank you,” she gives begrudgingly once he finishes. “Am I going to be ok to play the piano?”

“Why don’t you give it a rest for a couple of days? Then it’ll hurt but you won’t make things worse. And make sure you keep the stitches dry for three days. I don’t want to see you back here. Can you do me a personal favour and take the day off tomorrow?” Ravi answers. She opens her mouth to protest, but he cuts her off. “Missing one Friday in June is not going to be a big deal.”

“Fine.” She crosses her arms and glares at him. Ravi laughs and hugs her over her crossed arms. “I need to pee.”

“Down the hall to the left,” Ravi indicates the way with his head as he starts putting things away. “Don’t get your stitches wet!”

“Good thing you were working today,” Scott says after Hannah leaves. “She was pretty terrified until she saw you.”

“I’m not actually on today but when she texted me and said she was here, I decided I’d better come in. We’re all a little overprotective of her, but Han doesn’t do well with hospitals. Too many bad memories.” Ravi stops short when he realizes he’s said more than he should have. 

“She’s lucky she has so many good friends,” he says instead of asking what he means, which is truthfully what he wants to do, but if she gave him the gift of letting him tell his story, he owes her the same courtesy.

“She’d do the same for me. Only she’d complain about it a lot.”

“Are you talking about me?” Hannah demands as she reenters the room.

“Did you hear the word complaining and realize it had to be about you?” Ravi asks.

“Yes.”

“Love you, Han. Keep your stitches dry.” He kisses the top of her head, before he leaves the room with a wave.

“Cheer up.” Scott puts his arm around her and he likes the way she melts into him. He also likes the pout she has going, making her look this side of adorable. “Why don’t you come visit me at work tomorrow? We can have lunch, and I can introduce you to my friends.”

“Oh!” Her pout instantly disappears. “I’d like that.”

Even though she bemoans his terrible taste in music, they both sing along to the radio on the way home. Somehow she knows all the words to every song. More important, she lets him hear her full voice, which is as beautiful as he imagined it would be.

“Thank you for taking me to the hospital.” she says when they arrive home. “I’m sorry I was such a baby.”

“Everyone’s a baby when they’re in pain.” He shrugs and then hugs her in the way he’s wanted to for the last few days. Possibly since he met her.

“That was nice,” she says when they break apart, her hands lingering on his arm, one of his still on her waist. Her eyes are shining, and he considers leaning in and kissing her. He thinks she might feel the same way, but he dithers too long and she takes her hand off his arm and turns her face towards her house. 

“It was.” More nice than is safe, he thinks as he watches her retreat into her house.

He walks out of the change room to find Hannah laughing with Marie the next day. He’s glad to see that her normal smile is back on her face and the only evidence of her injury is the bandage that Ravi wrapped around her hand the day before.

“You’re early,” he says to Hannah as he joins them. He’d purposely gone to the washroom to freshen up when he did so he’d be back before she arrived.

“If you’re not ten minutes early, you’re late.”

Marie laughs. “My next group is about to start, I hope to see you again soon, Hannah. Scott, a moment?” 

They leave Hannah watching the skaters who’ve just taken the ice, the high level seniors he only works with occasionally.

“I’ll be back in about an hour,” he explains, once they’re out of earshot. “We’re just going over to the park for a picnic.

Marie raises an eyebrow at him. “I like your friend. Try not to scare her away.”She pats his hand and walks away. 

He needs a moment before he rejoins Hannah.

“She’s very glamorous and her coat is beautiful,” Hannah says when he comes to stand beside him, but she hasn’t taken her eyes off the skaters. “I was a little intimated, but she seems nice.”

“She is but you wouldn’t want to cross her.” He’s not sure he’s terrified of anyone quite the way he is of Marie.

“Scott,” she breathes out his name and points at the skaters.“They’re beautiful. Were you and Tessa like that?”

“We were better than that,” he whispers, as they watch Marjorie and Zach go by, his heart full of pride and longing. “We were the best.”

She looks at him with such admiration in her eyes that it makes his stomach clench. He wants to impress her so badly. “Will you show me sometime?”

“You still haven’t googled me?”

“You asked me not to.” 

He drops a kiss on her head because that seems to be allowed. “Let’s go eat lunch.”

He holds her hand as they leave the rink and she lets him.

“Did you call Tessa?” she asks after they’d settled at a picnic table at the park. He couldn’t have asked for a better day. Warm and sunny without the oppressive humidity that can sometimes overwhelm Montreal summers.

“I did. She hasn’t called me back yet.” He hadn’t expected her to answer the phone or call him back immediately. He had no idea where in the world she was, but more importantly he knew she’d need time to process before she called him back, if she decided to call him back.

“That must have been hard.”

“A little.” He shrugs, but the truth is, it was one of the hardest things he’s had to do in a long time.

He’d paced the length of his living room back and forth for almost forty-five minutes, just staring at his phone, trying to work up the courage to call her. A call was the only acceptable way of contacting her. A text would just be offensive; so much easier, but likely to be ignored. Besides, what could he possibly say in a text? Sorry, I was a dick. Let’s talk.

He’d punch himself for sending text like that.

No. He needed to call, he decided as he sat down on the couch and picked up his phone.

Only to immediately put it back down on the coffee table.

Should he have practiced what he was going to say? Isn’t that how he’d managed to be successful his entire life?

“So, Tessa…” he started and then winced at his own stupidity. Tried again. “Hi Tessa, it’s Scott. You probably already knew that… or has it been so long since we talked that you don’t recognize my voice... “

He dropped the phone on the couch like it burned him and wondered exactly when he turned into the stupidest person in the world. On his way to the kitchen, he considered a drink, but he absolutely did not want Tessa thinking that this phone call had been brought on by some sort of drunken epiphany and not through careful, sober decision making.

He briefly considered walking next door and asking Hannah for help. He could hear her plunking away at the piano through the open window and hoped that she was only using her right hand. He’d been purposely leaving the window open so he could hear her play in the evenings. Sometimes she’d work on songs that were obviously for school, others he could tell she was playing just for herself, and on rare occasions, she would sing. He liked those days best.

Nope, no going to other people for help. He’d gotten himself into this mess and he needed to get himself out of it.

“Fuck it.” he murmured to the room as he walked back to his phone and hit her contact information. His heart thud in his chest as he considered the possibility that she might actually answer the phone, or worse, that she might have changed her number.

The phone rang twice before it went to voicemail, and he almost cried when he heard her voice, even if it was her professional voice saying, “This is Tessa, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible”, and not her real voice, the one he got the privilege of hearing all those years.

“Tess. It’s Scott. I know I owe you a thousand apologies and this phone call will be the first of them. Can you give me a call back so I can offer the other nine hundred and ninety nine? I know it’ll take a few days for you to process this, so I’ll wait a week before I try you again. Ok, I hope you’re well... well I hope you’re better than well. Goodbye.”

His hands shook when he put the phone down and he sank into the couch, exhausted.

Hannah gives him a doubtful look and he laughs, “Ok, more than a little.”

“But you should be proud of yourself for doing it,” she says before taking a giant bite of the sandwich he made for her. Her eyes go wide in excitement and she garbles out, “So good,” through her full mouth.

“It’s the bacon.” 

She gives him a thumbs up and makes a funny squeaking noise before she starts chewing again.

“I’ll be more proud when I fix it. If I fix it.”

She holds up a finger to get him to wait while she finishes chewing. He uses the opportunity to take a bit of his and she’s right, it is good. Maybe if the coaching doesn’t work out he can take up sandwich making for a living.

“You will. It just might take more time than you’d like.”

They’re both quiet for a bit and he lets the sunshine and the sounds of the park bleed into his consciousness. He’s never been good at stopping and appreciating these little moments, but he lets go of all his worries about Tessa and the clock ticking down for getting back to work and just lets himself be. Hannah starts humming under his breath and he smiles as he closes his eyes.

“What are you humming?” he asks when he opens his eyes.

“I’m not sure.” She cocks her head to the right, and thinks for a moment. Hums a few bars and then says, “A Dream is A Wish Your Heart Makes. The choir is singing it at graduation.”

“How’s your hand feeling?”

“It’s ok. Having to keep the stitches dry is a pain. I had a shower with a ziplock bag held on with a hair elastic, so that was a new experience.” She sighs and wraps up what’s left of her sandwich. “I’m so full.” 

“There’s dessert, if you want some,” he says as he looks into the cooler he’s using as a picnic basket. He’d been disappointed when he realized that he did have a picnic basket because he really wanted to impress her, but then he’d realized she wouldn’t care and would likely make fun of him if he did bring a picnic basket.

“If I want? I have ever not wanted dessert. The idea is unfathomable.”

“Close your eyes.” She does, putting her right hand over them and he pulls out two elaborately decorated cupcakes and places one in front of each of them. “Ok, you can open them.”

She gasps and claps her hands together, winces in pain for a brief second before the look of excitement is back on her face. “Did you make these?”

“No, but I did run to the bakery and kept them safe on the way back during my fifteen minute break this morning.”

“Totally the same thing.” She takes a big bite, nods her approval and ends up with icing on her nose. He reaches out to wipe it off her nose and she blushes.

“Hannah, is this a date?” he asks before he has time to consider if it's a good idea.

“Sure feels like a date,” she answers without hesitation. “Guess we’ll know for sure if there’s any kissing at the end.”

“Right. Ok. Noted,” he says and takes a bite of his cupcake because he’s afraid of what idiotic thing he’ll say next if he keeps talking. There's a smirk on her face as she finishes her cupcake, that makes him want to kiss her immediately. 

He holds her hand as they walk back to the rink, and laughs as she greets every dog she meets with a happy “puppy,” no matter how old or big they are. She’s less impressed by squirrels, which she calls rats with good press.

“So here we are,” he says as they arrive back at the rink. He’s already five minutes late but nothing in the world, even the wrath of Marie France, could make him hurry through this moment. 

“The thing is, chipmunks are at least smart, but squirrels are just…” He leans in and kisses her because there’s absolutely nothing he can think of that would be a better thing to do. She doesn’t kiss back immediately, he took her by surprise, but when she does, she surprises and delights him with her enthusiasm. It’s not just their first kiss, but the first through tenth all rolled into one spectacular package.

“Bastards…” she finishes, when they finally pull apart. “Squirrels are bastards... Holy shit that was good.”

She looks a little dazed, her cheeks pink and her eyes a little glassy. He imagines he must look the same.

“It was.” As first through tenth kisses go, it has to be in the top ten of all time.

“Ok, so then date.”

“Yeah, yes, this is a date.” He’s really glad they cleared that up.

She kisses him again before she says goodbye. And even though there’s no possible way that she could, he swears Marie knows exactly what just happened and even better approves.

He’s walking on air for the rest of the day and his good mood passes to everyone around him. He’s always known that his highs and lows had a huge effect on Tessa but now he notices the way they pull the rest of the people around him along. With that in mind, he vows to share less of the bad and more of the good, especially with his skaters. He remembers what it was like to deal with the wrath of a coach's bad mood, always wondering what he did to inspire it even when half the time it had nothing to do with him.

Aside from checking his phone a ridiculous number of times and being disappointed every time there wasn’t a message from Tessa, his good mood carries through the weekend. He goes over to Hannah’s for dinner and a movie on Saturday after his half day at the rink. Dinner is burgers and potato salad on her back deck, where he becomes very concerned about her grilling technique and whether or not she’ll have any eyebrows. The burgers are delicious and her eyebrows remain intact and they laugh so much as they eat that his side hurts. 

They make it through ten minutes of the movie before they’re making out on the couch. Things get a little desperate, but neither of them seem willing to take it any further, so he leaves her place at midnight wound up, but feeling great. He’s never gone slow with a woman before but he wants to do things right with Hannah.

She’d told him that she had plans with Graham and his father all day on Sunday and he doesn’t expect to hear from her. When his phone bings with a text message he hopes it will be Tessa, assumes it’s his mother and is shocked when he sees it’s Hannah. They never text one another, Hannah seems disinterested in her phone and he figures why not just go next door if he wants to talk to her. His only text from her so far said, “This is Hannah.”

Hannah: Come over? Use backdoor. Stay out of sight. Sort of urgent.

There’s someone yelling in the street as he makes his way over to her house through their backyards, but the adrenaline is pumping through his veins and he barely acknowledges the noise. Hannah’s at the front door when he lets himself in. She has the door half open, her body half behind it. It takes him a second to realize the yelling is coming from her porch.

She glances over her shoulder when he arrives. The expression on her face is like nothing he’s ever seen before, a combination of anger and fear, but mostly a sadness that hits him in the stomach. He starts to move towards her but she holds up a hand for him to stop before turning her attention back to the yeller at the door.

A woman, he realizes, and a very drunk one.

“Mama, you know you’re not supposed to be here,” Hannah says and she sounds exhausted. “They're going to revoke your probation for breaking the restraining order.”

“Fucking cops can’t tell me when I can see my daughter,” her mother slurs back. “You owe me money.”

“Please don’t yell, you’re going to upset the neighbours.” He paces the room while he listens, wanting nothing more than to help her but knowing he can’t.

“OH!” He can hear Hannah’s mother moving around on the front porch and she ends up standing in front of the big window at the front of the house. He moves so he can see her but she can’t see him, not that he thinks she’d notice since she’s very focused on Hannah. It’s hard for him to place her age. She looks like she’s in her early fifties but has lived a very hard life. She’s painfully thin, wearing tight jeans ripped from use rather than fashion, and a Black Sabbath shirt that’s also seen better days. “You think I give a shit what your fancy pants neighbours think?”

“Mama, please just go.” Hannah talks to her mother the way parents do to a tantruming child, patient and measured, twinged with exhaustion.

“You going to call your fancy pants boyfriend and have him get rid of me or are you too embarrassed to be seen with me?” He can hear something bang on the porch, thinks maybe she’s knocked something over, whether on purpose or by accident is unclear. Hannah starts at the sound and throws a quick glance over her shoulder. She mouths “I’m fine” before turning back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You think I don’t know, but I know everything about you and I always will. Do you really think he’s going to want to be with you when he knows about what kind of trash you really are?”

“That’s enough.” Hannah doesn’t raise her voice, but there’s a finality to it that hasn’t been there before.

“I’ll tell you when it’s enough,” her mother screams back. “It’s all their fault. Fucking Micheal and Graham. They stole you from me, and you’ve been a selfish bitch ever since.”

“The province took me away from you. Graham and Micheal gave me a home.”

Her mother screams and knocks something over. This time is definitely on purpose. He reaches for his phone. If she won’t call the police he will. She turns, just as he’s about to dial and shakes her head.

“I’m going to call Jaime if you don’t go,” Hannah says as she turns back.

“No!” her mother yells. He can hear the fear in her voice. “Don’t call him.”

“Just go and I won’t have to.” Hannah hasn’t made a move for her phone, which he can see sticking out of her back pocket. He can tell she’s bluffing but her mother obviously can’t.

“Fine.” There’s a few more crashes as Hannah closes the door and rests her head against it. She takes a few deep breaths before she turns back to him.

“So that’s my mother. I would have introduced you but she had to go,” she jokes. There’s a bitterness to her tone that he’s never heard before.

“Are you ok?” He’s not sure if he should try and hug her or not. Her body is radiating a stay back vibe, but he feels like the only thing he can to help. Paralised by indecision, he stays where he is.

“I stopped crying over my mother a long time ago.”

“That’s not really an answer,” he shoots back glently.

“Well, it’s the only one I have right now,” she snaps, and then her shoulders sag and she sinks to the floor, her back dragging down the door. He waits a moment before joining her, pressing his shoulder to hers. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“Don’t apologize.” She sighs and puts her head on his shoulder. “Does that happen a lot?”

“Once or twice a year, lately. I didn’t see her for three years awhile back. I was starting to think she must have died, but I figured Jaime would have told me.”

“Who’s Jaime?” He’s been wondering who would be scary enough to chase away her mother, but wasn’t sure he should ask. It’s not clear how much she’s willing to share.

“My brother. Mom had him when she was fifteen, and he was fourteen when I was born. He tried to raise me, keep me safe for awhile but... I love him with all my heart and he’s done more to take care of me than anyone else in my family, but he’s not a good guy.” She takes his and squeezes. “Can we not talk about this anymore?”

“Whatever you need, Han.” He kisses the top of her head.

“I could use a hand cleaning up the mess on my front porch.” 

“Luckily, I have two.” She laughs at his joke, even though they both know it’s not actually funny. 

It doesn’t take long to clean up. Mostly repotting some of her flowers and sweeping up dirt. Nothing is actually broken; Hannah says she learned her lesson and bought plastic pots after the first time it happened. Since it’s such a nice night, they decide to sit on the porch for a bit after they’re done tidying. They talk about nothing while everything hangs over them. 

“I don’t like the idea of you being alone,” he offers when she starts yawning. “In case she comes back.”

“She won’t. She won’t mess with Jaime.” She shakes her head. “But I’d like it if you stayed the night, if you don’t mind?’

“I’d love to.” 

She comes with him over to his place while he gathers up his toothbrush and some pyjama pants. He suspects that she doesn’t want him to know how scared she is but he can see it in her face, in the way she stands closer and stiffer than normal.

“I can sleep on the couch,” he offers when they get back to her house as she starts turning off lights and getting her house ready for the night. 

“Don’t be silly,” she says as he follows her into her bedroom. He’s never been in there before, but it’s exactly what he would have imagined, colourful and comfortable and, like the rest of her house, filled with books and clutter. “But, I should probably make it clear that nothing is going to happen tonight.”

“I would never presume.”

She sits on her bed and past the spot next to her, and waits until he joins her. “I used to be kind of slutty. I thought that if a guy wanted to have sex with me, it meant he loved me, which, turned out not to be true. So, now I need to make sure that we at least really like each other before I have sex. And I’m pretty much already at that place with you but I don’t want our first time together to be a reaction to how shitty my mom makes me feel.” She huffs and lets out a dry chuckle. “So, that was a lot for one conversation. I’m going to go brush my teeth and change so you can digest that in peace.”

She gives him a quick kiss and disappears into the bathroom. He’s glad she gives him the space, because as much as he appreciates her honesty, it is a lot to take in all at once. He doesn’t care what she did in the past, it makes her who she is and he quite likes who she is. She’s just revealed more in the last few hours than she has in the weeks he’s known her.

Her hair is up in a bun and her face is still a little damp when she comes out of the bathroom in a tank top and sleep shorts. She clearly hasn’t dressed to impress, but there’s something he finds very sexy about her confidence.

She’s in bed when he returns from his turn in the bathroom. 

“I gave you the crappy pillow because I’m selfish,” she informs him as he climbs in next to him. 

“I expect no less,” he says and she shuts off the lamp beside the bed. 

After a few moments of laying awkwardly next to each other, she says, “This is stupid,” and cuddles up to him.

“I think I’m at the really like you too stage of things, but I’d like to wait until I’ve sorted some things out before we sleep together.” He’s not sure he would have said it, if it hadn’t been dark, but he’s glad he did.

“Tessa?”

“Tessa.”

“Makes sense.” She kisses him one more time, and before long they’re both asleep.

He wakes up to the sound of his phone ringing and his legs tangled with Hannah’s. She snorts as she wakes up and looks around confused.

“It’s mine,” he says as he untangles himself and makes his way to where he left his pants draped over a chair.

“Make it stop or it’s going in the toilet,” she says and pulls the blanket over her head.

His heart skips a beat when he sees the name on the screen.

TESSA

“Hello,” he whispers as he closes the door behind him and walks into the living room. He considers walking back over to his house, but that seems like overkill.

“Oh, good. I woke you,” she answers, her voice hard. It’s going to be one of those conversations, not that he expected otherwise. She sighs and her voice is softer when she speaks again. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you probably should have said worse.” He rubs a hand through his hair and tries his best to wake up. He’s going to need all his wits about him to get through this conversation. “Tess, I’m…”

“We should talk.” It’s been so long since he heard her voice and he’s disturbed to find that he can’t quite read her mood.

“Aren’t we doing that?”

“Don’t be obtuse,” she snaps and sighs, as if she’s annoyed with herself as much as him. When she speaks again it’s her media voice and he wishes she’d go back to annoyed. At least that’s real. “We should speak in person.”

“I’d like that.” It’s probably not the right thing to say, but he’s so surprised that he says the first thing that comes to his mind.

“I’ll be in London on…”

“I’m not…” He cuts her off. Another surprise, that she hasn’t heard. She probably had gone out of her way not to hear anything. “I’m in Montreal now, working with Marie and Patch.”

“Well then.” He knows she does this when she’s caught off guard, uses little phrases to give her more time to figure out what to say without letting on. She used to use ‘what a compliment’ in exactly the same way. “I’m sure you and your wife are very happy there.”

“I didn’t… we didn’t get married. Tess, I would have invited you.” That she thinks he wouldn’t have crushes him, but he supposes that he never gave her any reason not to think so.

He just listens to her breath for a moment. It’s hard to leave her speechless. He imagines that she’s tilting her head to the side the way she does when she’s truly thinking about something.

“Montreal?”

“Yes.”

“Let me just look at my schedule.” He knows she’s opening a physical planner with her schedule, even though she keeps an electronic one as well. “I’ll be in Montreal for a couple of days in the middle of next month. Will that work?”

“I’d make it work if it didn’t.”

“Alright,” she pauses for a moment and he wonders what she’s thinking. There was a time he would have known. “I’ll send you my details when I have them.”

“Tess,” he manages to catch her before she hangs up. “It’s good to hear your voice.”

The line goes silent for an uncomfortably long time. He’s about to ask if she’s still there when her quiet answer comes through, “It’s good to hear yours too.”

She hangs up without another word.

Hannah’s head is still under the blanket when he comes back.

“I’m going to guess that was Tessa because I can feel you smiling from across the room.” She peaks her head out. Her hair has fallen out of the bun she went to bed with and is now everywhere, in front of her face, on her shoulders, and it looks like it’s about twice the size it normally is. He wants to laugh but imagines that won’t go over well. “Also, I heard you say the name Tess.”

“It was her.” He bounces on his feet to let out some of the excitement.

“Come back to bed and tell me about it,” she says and opens up the blanket for him. “But if your feet are cold you better keep them the hell away from me. That goes for hands too.”

He laughs as he climbs back into bed, the lightest he’s felt in years.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Tessa's turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of you who took a chance on this story and came back for more. A special thanks to those of you who left comments, you can't possibly know how much it means to me and all the other writers when you leave a comment. 
> 
> Special thanks as always to Walkinrobe who keeps me writing by demanding "more, more, more" every time I send her some words. 
> 
> And to C, who's a patient and forgiving editor, while always pushing me to be better.

Tessa checks the address Scott gave her three times because she can’t quite fathom that the monstrosity of a house her cab driver dropped her off in front of actually belongs to him. Also, no one appears to be home. Scott may have done some stupid stuff in the past, but just not showing up for a meeting he asked for, wasn’t his style.

She sighs and pulls out her phone. She’s exhausted and can feel a headache pressing at her temples and her eyes blur as she types out a text.

Tessa: Where are you? I’m at your house.

She scowls at the weather as she waits for his response. The Montreal air is thick with humidity. She feels ten pounds heavier under it, and is sweating in places she forgot she could sweat. Her water bottle is empty and she’s getting more frustrated with every moment that ticks by. She’s so busy taking calming breaths that she’s startled by the binging from her phone.

Scott: Why are you there already? It’s only two o’clock. Weren’t we meeting at five?

She really looks at her phone and lets out a slow “fuck” as she realizes that she screwed up the time change again. She’s been through four time zones in the last week, so it’s not a surprise she’s confused but she’s still annoyed with herself.

Scott: Did you mess up the time change again?

It’s not fair that he still knows her better than anyone in the world. Shouldn’t a year of not speaking have negated all of that familiarity? 

She’s considering a cab ride to her hotel, hoping she can check in early, when her phone bings again.

Scott: Hold on. My neighbour is home. I’ll get her to let you in.

She sends him a picture of the house in front of her.

Tessa: Is this actually your house?

Scott: 🤡

It annoys the shit out of her that she laughs at his response.

“Tessa?” a voice calls out and she looks up to see a young, red headed woman on the porch of the house next door. “I’m Hannah, the neighbour. I’ll let you in.”

She’d pictured an elderly woman with cats when he’d said neighbour, so it takes her a moment to fully understand what she’s saying. That and the jet lag.

“Hannah! Hannah!” An older woman wearing a bikini and three inch heels calls from across the street. “Is Scott home yet?”

Tessa watches, fascinated, while Hannah bites her bottom lip and swallows a laugh as she comes down the stairs and stands beside Tessa on the sidewalk. “He’s not home until late tonight, Joyce.”

Joyce pouts for a moment, before brightening. “Oh, well, can you tell him that I have something very, very important to talk to him about?”

“Oh, you have no idea how badly I want to tell him that.” Tessa can hear the effort Hannah’s making to hold back her giggles, and it makes her want to laugh too. They watch Joyce go back into her house before Hannah turns to her. “I feel like it’s a bold choice to walk around in a bikini when you don’t have a pool, but on the other hand, if my body was that slamming at fifty-three I’d probably do the same thing. Although I do feel the cheetah print bikini was a little too on the nose,” Hannah says and then turns towards the house that inexplicably belongs to Scott.

“She’s fifty-three!” Tessa says as she picks up her suitcase and follows her to the house. Hannah stops to grab both the mail and the newspaper on the porch before she opens the door. The sweet relief of air conditioning distracts her as she enters the house, and she closes her eyes for a few moments just to regain her equilibrium. By the time she reopens them, Hannah is across the house and standing at the kitchen counter.

“Do you want something to drink?” Hannah’s ease in Scott’s house makes her wonder just how much time she spends there. She’s not quite sure what to make of that realization, so she files it away for later. “I’m supposed to keep you entertained until he gets home. I pointed out that you weren’t a four year old but he was all in a tizzy about it so…”

Hannah rolls her eyes and Tessa laughs.

“Water is fine.” 

“I always wonder if people are serious when they say water is fine, because when I say that, I’m just being polite.” Tessa watches as Hannah runs the tap for a few minutes to get the water cold before filling the glass.

“Normally, I’m just being polite,” she says as Hannah hands her the water. “But this time I really need the water. It’s so hot out.”

“So fucking hot,” she agrees and plunks down beside Tessa. “Thank god Scott has air conditioning. I don’t, so sometimes when he’s at work I come over here so I can cool down. But don’t tell him that, he might start charging me for the service.”

The idea of Scott charging anyone for a kindness makes her laugh again.

“So do you really want me to stick around and keep you entertained or would you like to be alone?”

“Honestly, I’d kill for a nap but I can’t check in to my hotel for a couple hours.” As soon as the words leave her mouth, a yawn immediately follows.

“Well, I happen to know that there’s a very nice guest bedroom that he just set up over the weekend. I know this because he made me help and then didn’t even make me dinner after.”

“That doesn’t sound like Scott,” Tessa manages through another yawn. 

“He did offer but I had to get to work. I just think it’s a better story if I make him sound like a selfish bastard.” Hannah winks at her. 

“Do you think he’d mind?” The idea of getting a few hours of sleep makes everything seem bearable.

“I think he set it up for you.” Hannah pats her hand and smiles. “So I think you’d make his day if you did.”

“Are you always like this?” The words pop out before she realizes they could be taken the wrong way, but Hannah doesn’t look offended, only confused. “I mean are you always instantly comfortable around people?”

It’s something Tessa wishes she were better at instead of just being good at pretending she was.

“Not really.” Hannah thinks about it for a minute, wrinkles her nose and plays with the ends of her ponytail. “I think it’s just that I feel like I know you. He talks about you all the time.”

With that, she takes Tessa’s empty glass and heads to the kitchen.

“Has he told you…” She wants to say, everything, all my secrets, the good and the bad, but she knows Scott would never do that to her. “About us?”

“Do you want more?” Hannah asks and talks over the water when Tessa nods her head. “A little. I know he feels terrible about what he did.”

“What he did? Did he take all the blame?” She gets up and goes over to the island, can’t sit still after such a revelation. Certainly Scott has to shoulder some of the blame, but she wasn’t an innocent victim.

Hannah shrugs in response. “He also showed me some videos of you skating. You guys were sluteeee. And also beautiful. Sometimes both at the same time.”

Tessa smiles in response but her mind is still on the idea that Scott’s been walking around believing he was fully responsible for their destruction. As if something like that wouldn’t require equal participation.

“Anyway, I should probably leave you to your nap,” Hannah says as she hands over the glass of water. “It was really nice meeting you. I hope I’ll get to see you again before you head home.”

“I’d like that.” Tessa fixes her smile back on her face, the one that always charms in difficult situations, but Hannah frowns in response.

“Don’t be too hard on him?” she says as she’s about to leave. “He’s really nervous about seeing you. He’s been cleaning for days.”

Hannah puts a hand on Tessa’s elbow and squeezes it before she leaves.

She stands at the front door for a few minutes after it closes. The only sound in the house the hum of the air conditioning and the thoughts buzzing around in her head.

She wakes up to the sound of murmured voices and it takes her a moment to realize that she’s in Scott’s house in Montreal. It’s not uncommon for her to wake up confused about where she is. She travels so much that it’s rare she spends more than three nights in the same place. She takes a moment to stretch out on the bed, the sleep helped clear her head and make her feel less emotional. Maybe she’s actually ready to deal with Scott.

The voices grow louder as she wanders out into the hall on the second floor of the house. She’d encountered mostly empty rooms until she found the guest bedroom at the end of the hall. Decorated in all white, with a bouquet of pink peonies on the side table, the room felt like it was waiting for her. For the first time in a long time, the idea fills her with hope rather than dread.

“I have to go to work,” Hannah’s voice drifts up the stairs as Tessa is about to go down them. She should go back in the room or announce her presence but she can’t resist the temptation to eavesdrop.

“I’ll pick you up when you’re done?” Scott answers, his voice light and playful in a way she hasn’t heard in years, an ease to it that she almost doesn’t recognize.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t want you taking transit home at one in the morning. It’s not safe.” She can’t figure out what kind of job Hannah has. She knows she shouldn’t keep listening, but she finds herself sitting down on the top step instead of calling out to them.

“What exactly do you think I did to get home before you moved in next door?” She can tell that Hannah is trying to sound annoyed but she can hear the undercurrent of affection.

“I don’t like to think about that at all.” It’s Scott’s real voice, not his pick up voice. Interesting.

“Needlessly mushy, Moir.”

“That’s the name of my band.”

“Idiot.” Tessa imagines Hannah shaking her head as Scott’s voice rings through the house. She hates to admit how much she missed that laugh. “You might still be talking to Tessa. I don’t want to interrupt.”

“We’re not going to still be talking at one.” She starts to interrupt and he cuts her off. “And even if we still are, she’ll insist I come and get you.”

Damn right she would, even if she’s still a little confused by the exact nature of the relationship between Scott and Hannah. 

“Fine,” she agrees with a sigh.

“Have I told you how much I like that dress? Because I really like that dress on you.” Hannah’s giggle in response to Scott’s compliment helps clear up a few things.

Her soft moan, followed by her low and needy “Scott,” clears up even more. 

It also pulls something from Tessa that she hasn’t felt in a while and she can feel her cheeks colour with… embarrassment? Jealousy? Something she’s just not willing to acknowledge?

“I have to go.” Hannah’s voice pulls her out of her thoughts.

“Promise you’ll call me?”

“You’re not the boss of me, but fine.” Scott laughs again and Tessa waits until she hears the door close before she stands up. 

She takes her time with each step. Now that she’s actually, really, going to see him, she’s suddenly nervous.

“Tess?” Scott calls when she’s almost down the stairs. She can hear the nerves in her voice. “You awake?”

She takes the final step, turns the corner, and there he is.

Neither of them move. 

He looks exactly the same. Shouldn’t there be some evidence of the passage of a year without her? Some marks to show what life without each other has done? She feels him all over. In the twitch of her empty palm, the spot where he would rest against her neck, in all the empty places in her heart. Does he feel them too or is he untouched by their absence from one another’s lives?

But then he locks eyes with her and then she sees the marks. The tiredness in the lines that used to just be for smiling. The sadness that’s etched there.

Without a word, she takes a step towards him and then another. They meet in the middle of his enormous living room and they wrap their arms around each other.

And they hold each other for a very long time. Hold each other while he tears up and then laughs because he tears up. Then she gets misty, because he was always the one to get teary first and she loved him for it. Still does. Loves him with her whole heart and always will even when she’s so very angry with him.

He finally pulls away and smiles at her. She recognizes that smile. It’s the same one he wore after he made it through the NHK after his friend died. She’d been so proud of him then. Shoves her angry aside to be proud of him in this moment too. 

“Should we… would you like to sit?” 

She nods, because she doesn’t trust her voice just yet, and they sit at opposite ends of the couch. They sit facing forward for a moment before they turn to face each other in unison. She can’t help the giggle that escapes her throat. He looks shocked for a moment but then laughs with her.

“So, still weirdly in sync.” She shakes her head.

“Guess it takes longer than a year to unlearn that,” he agrees.

“Can you believe it’s been two years since we skated together…”

“I’m so sorry.” He cuts her off and she can see tears welling in his eyes again. “I’m such an idiot, I thought I was doing the right thing and I ruined everything.”

“Scott…”

“No, I ruined everything…”

“You weren’t wrong,” she yells, to get his attention. He immediately stops, because she’s only yelled at him twice before. “And it was just as much my fault as it was yours.”

He just stares at her for a moment, open mouthed, like what she’s just said has short circuited his brain. “How do you figure that? I’m the idiot who fell in love with you even though I knew you were gay.”

She winces when he says it, even though she knows it’s true. She just doesn’t talk about being gay very often and so the actual word feels like a physical presence in the room.

“Because I knew you had feelings for me and I didn’t do enough to put a stop to them. Because I liked feeling like your everything even though I knew I could never actually be that for you.”

The way she loved him, the way he loved her back, were probably the main reasons why it had taken her so long to admit that she was gay, even to herself. And yes she’d told him she was gay right before the comeback, but then they’d proceeded to agree that there would be no distractions. And she hadn’t helped the situation by acting like a girlfriend, letting him function as a boyfriend in every way except for sex.

“It wasn’t your responsibility to point out that I was a dumbass.”

“Look, how you did it was super shitty and you fucking broke my heart but you weren’t wrong. We were too wrapped up in each other’s lives, and you were right that there was no way we were going to have successful relationships when we were getting everything but sex from each other.” She isn’t expecting the anger that bubbles up inside her. “But to tell me you never wanted to see me again...”

“I thought I was doing the right thing.” He stands up with the force of his words. She’s surprised he sat still for as long as he did. “I really did.”

She watches him pace for a moment. “I know.” 

He stops pacing and looks at her. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Why didn’t you just call me?” It’s the question that bothers her the most. She’d assumed that he hadn’t because he was busy being blissfully happy with his life, imagined that they were well on their way to expecting a baby. But to find out that none of that was true, that he was as unhappy as she was? She just can’t understand that part.

“Because I was embarrassed,” he rubs his hands through his hair and sends it in all directions. “Turns out that jumping into a relationship when you’re in the middle of a post Olympics crash and heartbroken because the woman you’re in love with can’t love you back, isn’t the best idea…”

“If I could have…” Because he really was her everything. And she hated sharing him, hated every woman who took even a moment of his love away from her and she knows that she’s an awful person for feeling that way. 

“I’m not blaming you. That wasn’t you, that was me, and I knew better, but I couldn’t stop myself from loving you. I’ve never understood how anyone could stop themselves from loving you.” He stops and smiles at her and her heart clenches. If she could have given that love back to him, she would have. She’s never understood how anyone could not love Scott Moir. “But I let you go for no good reason and how was I ever supposed to admit that?”

“You’re such a moron,” she sighs, walks over to him and wraps her arms around his shoulders.

“I’m aware.”

“How about you never do that again?” He nods and laughs, so she hugs him. “Do you have anything to drink? I think we could use one.”

She watches him as he moves to the kitchen and pours her a glass of wine and grabs a beer for himself, but is distracted looking at his house, which she can’t quite believe is his. There’s nothing of the man she knows in this place. She does notice a pink cardigan draped over one of the chairs and wonders how much time Hannah spends there. If she’s the only woman who does. Knowing Scott, almost certainly the only one; she can’t imagine he’s changed that much.

He joins her on the couch when he returns, closer this time.

“Why now?”

“A good friend made me realize it was time.” There’s something to his smile that she’s never seen before.

“Is this good friend a red head who lives next door?” The smile grows wider, like no matter how badly he might want to play it cool, he just can’t. “So is Hannah the girlfriend in addition to being the neighbour?”

“I…”

“Are you blushing?” She smacks his chest in surprise. “Scott Moir, you have never blushed over a woman in your life.”

“I…” he sighs. “I really like her.”

“But…”

“We’re taking it slow.” She raises an eyebrow at his answer. “I’m well aware I have a reputation for jumping dick first into relationships and I don’t want to make that mistake this time. Cause...” He takes a deep breath. “Cause I really want it to work this time.”

Scott moving slowly, a girlfriend who encourages him to spend time with her, one who isn’t half his size, it’s a lot to process. “Wait are you telling me you haven’t even slept with her yet?”

“Not that it’s anyone’s business,” he says as if she hasn’t known the details of almost every one of his sexual conquests. “But no, I have not slept with her.”

“That is different.”

“I don’t want to talk about my sex life anymore.” He turns red and she’s starting to like this new, easily embarrassed version of Scott.

“What have you told her about us?” She hadn’t sensed any jealousy or apprehension from Hannah when they met, but she hadn’t been looking for any either.

“I told her about how I felt about you and how I didn’t handle that well.” Sadness creeps its way across his face, but it’s there for a moment and gone the next.

“Did you tell her… about me?” She still has trouble saying the words out loud, even though he’s never judged her, has never been anything other than supportive. He was the first person who she told, even before Jordan, and he’s always kept her secret.

“I would never.” He grabs her hand and squeezes it. “I’m a little annoyed that you think I would, but I haven’t shown the best judgement in the last few years.”

“Like, say, your decision to buy this house?”

He barks out a laugh and kisses her hand before giving it back. “Hannah’s on me about that all the time too.”

“I knew I liked her.” She likes anyone who gives him shit. He beams at her answer, she’s never liked one of his girlfriends. Her dislike of them wasn’t fair to anyone, fueled by jealousy and a need to be the centre of his world. Their need to be almost everything to each other had led them to victory and almost destroyed them.

She’s not exactly sure why it’s different with Hannah. Time? Distance? But so far she hasn’t felt the familiar pull of the green eyed monster.

“Maybe the three of us could go out sometime this weekend?” he asks tentatively. They hadn’t really discussed anything beyond this meeting, even though she’d told him she’d be in town for three days. 

“I think we should. I’d also like to visit Gadbois.”

“Are you sure?” She knows what he means without him elaborating. If they go to the rink together, there will inevitably be social media posts about it. Is she really ready to kick the sleeping giant of interest in them?

It’s not all better between them. There’s still a great deal to be fixed and a lot to deal with but it’s a start and maybe one of the most honest conversations they’ve ever had.

“I think it’s about time Virtue and Moir made a reappearance, don’t you?”

He hasn’t hugged her that tightly since they won in PYC.

They talk.

They talk for hours and hours, while he makes dinner and serves dessert. 

He asks if she wants to stay at his place instead of the hotel she booked. As tempting as she finds the offer, she doesn’t think they’re ready for that level of friendship again. He understands, but she can tell he wishes otherwise.

They do the dishes and she indulges in a third glass of wine, and he switches over to water. With a shrug and a smile that lights up his whole face, he explains that he needs to pick Hannah up from work. 

She’s surprised to find out that Hannah is a high school music teacher but plays piano in a bar on the weekends in the summer to make extra money, and is even more surprised to find out that she hasn’t let Scott come watch her play yet. She loves watching him talk about Hannah, the goofy expression on his face replacing what was always defensive in the past. 

In turn she tells him about how she’s spent the last two years doing nothing but working and travelling, but she admits that she thinks she needs to slow down for a bit, pick a place and stay there. She needs to actually figure out what it is she wants from life. Because as much as she’s spent a lot of years talking about her plans and ideas, she’ll admit to him and only him that she has absolutely no idea what those might be. He nods knowingly. She suspects he was in the exact same boat before he arrived in Montreal.

They talk until they both start yawning and he insists on driving her to her hotel, even though she could have just as easily caught an Uber. They don’t talk much on the drive over, instead listening to a playlist called “Hannah Has Better Taste in Music Than You.”

Hannah isn’t wrong.

She thinks she’ll immediately fall into bed, but as soon as she enters her room she’s suddenly wide awake and calls Jordan instead.

“What time zone are you in now?” Jordan has never once answered a phone call with hello.

“Same one as you,” she shoots back as she flings her shoes across the room. She’s always liked to keep any room she has as neat as possible, but there is something deeply satisfying about throwing your shoes and letting them land where they may. “You’ll never guess who I spent the evening with.”

“Am I actually supposed to guess? Why would I if there’s no chance I’ll figure it out?” Jordan sighs as if the very idea of being her sister is all too much, which of course makes her laugh.

“Scott.” She’s stunned Jordan into silence. She waits a few more moments, just to see if she’ll recover. “Scott Moir.”

“I figured, dumbass.” She can hear Jordan roll her eyes through the phone. “Are you in London? Did you run into him? Are you ok?” 

“I’m in Montreal. He’s coaching here now.”

“I did not see that coming. I mean I did, but then he went crazy and decided to be a farmer. I digress. That’s good news, right?” Jordan has always viewed Scott as the equivalent of an annoying cousin, and it’s nice to see that she still basically feels that way.

“It is. He looks good. Happy.” She realizes settled is a better word, like he’s finally on his way to being where he was supposed to be. “They didn’t get married.”

“I was just going to ask.” They could have found out at any time, but when Scott cut her out of his life, she’d done the same with all the Moirs and her family had followed suit. She’d suspected that her mother knew some things, but Kate had been steadfast in her silence. “I’m not totally surprised.” 

An understatement because Jordan had been the one person who’d been confident that Scott wouldn’t be able to go through with the wedding at all, while everyone else had been sure that he was stubborn enough to do just that but that the marriage wouldn’t last long.

“And to answer your second question, it was a planned meeting. He called me to apologize.”

“Well, that’s new. I hope you didn’t let him think it was all his fault.” She can hear Jordan moving through her apartment, she thinks from the banging that she’s moved into the kitchen.

“I took blame for my part too.” Her sister has always been the one person who called Tessa out on her bullshit. Her mom was always on her side, because that’s how moms are and her brothers were too busy with their own lives to know what to think. Everyone else had tried to stay as neutral as possible, but Jordan had been vocal in her belief that Tessa needed to stop treating Scott like her husband if she didn’t plan to act like a wife.

“That’s also new.” Jordan snorts at her own brilliance and it’s Tessa’s turn to roll her eyes. “But seriously, how are you?”

“I’m good. I feel like we have work to do but we’re both ready to do it.”

“Last time I heard that, you guys decided to launch a comeback. Tessa, you are too fucking old to complete in the Olympics.”

She laughs long and hard at that one. They do a quick check in on Jordan’s life before they both agree that they’re tired and will talk again in the morning.

She falls asleep looking forward to the day to come instead of being filled with dread.

Marie cries when she and Scott walk into the rink together. Tessa’s never seen her cry before and that almost sends her over the line, but mostly she holds it together because she knows people are taking pictures and all of this is basically being live streamed on social media. She hopes the attention won’t reignite interest in them but she suspects there will be tumblr posts and twitter theories on what it all means. 

Once the flurry of people disperses, mainly because Marie tells everyone to get to work, she takes a seat in the stands and watches. She always knew Scott was destined for a career in coaching. Figure skating lives in every cell of his body, he lives and breathes it. Seeing him on the ice, the patient way he listens to everything the skaters have to say, the way he watches and analyzes their every move, the gentle but authoritative way he has of explaining what he means, is confirmation of everything she ever knew about him.

Her phone won’t stop buzzing in her pocket and she doesn’t want to look and see if it’s business, social media, or her family. She knows she can only ignore it for so long, but she wants to live in this bubble for just a little longer.

“Lunch?” Scott startles her out of her thoughts. “Maire is insisting I have an extra long break and I think is angling for an invitation.”

“I can’t. I have meetings starting in a half hour.” His smile droops for a moment but is back by the time he plunks down beside her. “I’m busy for the rest of the day.”

She’d purposely planned a day and evening of meetings and events just in case their talk didn’t go well. As much as she’s greedy for time with him, the other commitments will give her the distance not to get immediately sucked back into the Tessascott bubble. 

“Do you want to spend the day together tomorrow?” she suggests, and his face lights up. “Maybe Hannah could join us?”

“You’d be ok with that?” His surprise is justified, because in the past it was always him trying to shoehorn his girlfriends into events and Tessa being annoyed by the intrusion. This time it feels like Hannah is already a part of a life that she likes for him. 

“I’d like to get to know her better.”

“Great, that’s great.” He kisses her hand and of course, she looks up to see someone taking their picture. She can’t wait to see how long it takes before people are speculating that they’re “back together.” It would blow their minds if they knew the real story. “I’ll see what she’s up to and then I’ll call you.”

“You could just text me.”

He wrinkles his nose in distaste. “I still don’t like texting.”

“Fine, call me,” she laughs in response. Some things never change. “You looked good out there. You’re a great coach.”

“I’m still learning.” He shrugs and looks embarrassed. She likes humble Scott. “Want me to see if I can find an extra pair of skates? We could take a spin around the rink when everyone clears out.”

“Not this time, but I’ll bring my skates next time. But we need to sneak in when no one is around because we’re going to be so bad.”

“So, so bad.”

“At least you’ve been on skates. I haven’t even had mine on in six months.” She hadn’t wanted to, wanted to be as far from skating as humanly possible, but seeing the young skaters on the ice, all that passion, has reignited something in her.

“Not gonna lie, it’s been six weeks and my feet still hurt.” 

She leans in and whispers, “want to hear something weird?”

“Always.”

“I’m looking forward to being terrible.” It’s been so long since she allowed herself to be anything but the best that the idea of being bad, is somehow freeing, and she thinks it might be the first step to remembering why she loved it in the first place. He might be the second.

He just nods. It’s nice to be on the same page.

She wakes up to a series of texts from Scott, all from two am.

Scott: Hannah would like to call you but can’t decide if that’s weird. She insisted I ask you first if it was ok and to make you promise to be honest if it is weird.

Scott: “Like really, really promise.”

Scott: She just hit me for texting that.

Scott: And another smack for that. I’m going to stop texting before I’m black and blue.

She waits until ten to call; everyone needs their sleep and she knows Scott never puts his phone on do not disturb. Even with waiting, his voice is thick with sleep when he answers the phone.

“T?” She can see him in her mind, blinking and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, hair everywhere. They may never have been lovers but they’d slept in the same bed plenty of times.

“Sorry.” She isn’t really.

“‘S’Ok,” he mumbles. “I shouldn’t sleep too late, anyway.”

“You can tell Hannah that she can call me.” 

“She’s beside me, so you can tell her yourself,” he says through a yawn and she can hear the sheets rustling as he moves around. 

“Wait, I thought you weren’t sleeping together,” she teases.

“Not talking about this with you,” he grumbles and she can hear his embarrassment through the phone.

“But you will later.”

His only answer is a sigh and he doesn’t bother to cover the phone as he turns his attention to Hannah.

“Han... Hannah… come on, baby wake up.”

“I refuse to let you call me that. I thought I made my feelings perfectly clear.” Hannah’s voice is muffled, as if something is covering her face.

“You have, but it’s easier to get you to wake up when you’re annoyed.” There’s a laugh in Scott’s voice.

“Why do I have to wake up? It’s Sunday.” 

“Tessa’s on the phone.”

“Gimme.” There’s more shuffling as the phone gets passed and both of them giggle at something that happens, and Tessa longs to be part of it. “Ok, go away now. I want to talk to her without you listening.”

“You’re very bossy,” he calls, his voice drifting away from the phone.

“As if you didn’t know that thirty seconds after you met me,” she calls back and then turns her attention to Tessa. “So, Scott’s giant house is stupid, but one thing about it that isn’t stupid is that it has a pool. Hi, how are you?”

“I’m good, thank you for asking.” She’s impressed by Hannah’s ability to go from zero to sixty after just waking up.

“Except he won’t open up the pool. Something about it being a lot of work and him being a dumbass, but Tessa, it’s July and he has a pool and it’s just irresponsible not to use it.” She can’t help but laugh at Hannah’s stream of consciousness. “But I figure he can’t say no to both of us if we ask. So could you convince him that we should have a pool party this afternoon? Unless you don’t want to have a pool party, then I’ll figure out another way to convince him.”

“A pool party sounds fun.” She’s surprised to find that it does sound fun. “I’ll see what I can do.” 

“I knew I liked you. I’m going to go buy some giant floaties. Actually I’m going to make Scott pay for them because it’s his pool, but I’m going to pick them out.”

“Fair.” She’s looking forward to spending the day with them and really looking forward to documenting Scott’s interactions with the pool floaties. “Could you get a pink unicorn floatie?”

“Oh, it’s on the top of my list already. Do you want to talk to Scott now?”

“Sure.” Hannah’s enthusiasm is contagious. She can’t remember the last time she was this excited about something simple like a pool party.

“I’m so glad you’re coming over,” Hannah says as she moves through the house. “And just between you and me, I don’t think I’ve seen Scott happier than he has been since you two talked.” The very idea makes the smile on Tessa’s face bigger. “Does two o’clock work? We can swim and then make Scott bar-b-que. Wait, what time does your flight leave tomorrow?”

“Seven am.” She hates early flights, but she has a full day of meetings booked in Toronto the next day.

“That’s unconscionably early. Better make it one o’clock then.” Tessa’s not sure she understands why the hour makes a difference, but she agrees all the same. Like Scott, Hannah doesn’t bother to cover the receiver when she finally finds Scott. “Did you make french toast? Score. Tessa wants to talk to you.”

“Is this about the pool?” he asks into the phone. “Hannah is this about the pool?”

“Can’t talk. Eating,” Hannah replies and Tessa laughs.

“Why did you buy a house with a pool if you won’t use the pool?” Tessa asks.

“I think the better question is why did I buy this house at all?” he asks and she can hear a door shutting.

“Why did you buy that house?”

“Because it was the only one available in the neighbourhood, and I don’t think shit through.”

“That sounds about right.” She laughs at his exasperated sigh. “Are you going to let us have a pool party?”

“I don’t imagine I have much choice, do I?”

“On the upside, you’ll get to see Hannah in a bikini.” She’s glad she packed hers, wasn’t going to and then threw one into her suitcase at the last minute in case she wanted to take advantage of hotel hot tubs.

“That’s definitely an incentive.” There’s a low growl to his voice that she’s never heard before.

The faint sound of knocking interrupts whatever he was going to say next.

“Ask her if she wants us to invite Marie and Patrice? She won’t lie to you.” Hannah must have opened the door because her question comes through clearly.

“I haven’t even agreed to this party yet.” He’s trying hard to sound annoyed and failing.

“But you will,” both she and Hannah say at the same time, and Scott laughs.

“Fine we can have a pool party,” he grumbles.

“Yes!! I’m going to go home and get dressed, and then we can go shopping,” Hannah answers, her voice getting further away as she speaks.

“Wait, why do we have to go shopping?” Scott calls after her but there’s no answer. “Do you want me to invite Marie and Patch or would you prefer just the three of us?”

She takes a moment to roll the idea around in her head. More people feels like more pressure but at the same time might take some of the pressure off the three of them. Plus she hasn’t really had a chance to catch up with their former coaches.

“Invite them.” 

“Ok then,” he answers. “This is going to be fun, isn’t it?”

“I think it will.” 

They make their goodbyes and she flops back down on the bed. She needs to work out and head to the store so she can bring something for the bar-b-que, maybe some flowers for Hannah, but first she decides to check her social media. She’d been avoiding it since she left the rink but she might as well deal with it now.

The first post she finds is a picture she and Scott took with Marjorie and Zach, and then another Marjorie posted of them sitting in the stands together with a #goals. Luckily, she missed the hand kiss moment. There’s hundreds of comments and questions about them that, thankfully, Marjorie hasn’t answered.

She takes a quick look at a couple of the tumblrs that still post about her and Scott. They’re all full of rumours and speculation; about another comeback, or if she’d be coaching with him, if they’re a couple.

That’s the rumour she’ll need to put an end to. They’re definitely not going down that road again. She’ll figure out how later. For now, she’ll focus on working out.

There’s a text from Scott when she gets out of the shower.

Scott: I know this is a terrible idea (for me), but could I give Hannah your number? She keeps asking me to send you pictures. Like this one.

There’s a glorious picture of Scott holding a purple unicorn floatie box.

Scott: She says “sorry it’s not pink”

Scott: Why do I feel like introducing you two might have been the worst idea I ever had?

She sits down on the end of the bed in her towel before answering.

Tessa: Worse than the Eminem haircut? Worse than our reality show? Worse than your house?

Tessa: Yes she can have my number.

There’s no immediate answer, so she heads to the bathroom to blow dry her hair and do her make up before realizing it would be stupid to do either for a pool party. Instead she throws her hair up into a bun, and puts on a ratty t-shirt and shorts. There’s still an hour before she even has to think about getting ready.

As soon as she stretches out on the bed, her phone bings with a message from Hannah.

Hannah: This is Hannah. I’ve included a picture for reference. 

The picture is a selfie of Hannah, with Scott rolling his eyes in the background. She immediately adds it to Hannah’s contact information and then just because she knows it will annoy him, to Scott’s.

The next text is a picture of a shopping cart overloaded with food.

Hannah: Scott doesn’t think we have enough chips. I counted 7 bags. I think he’s nervous.

Hannah: It’s cute.

Hannah: Is it weird that I’m telling you it’s cute? Graham says I have trouble understanding boundaries.

Tessa: It’s amazing that you’re telling me he’s cute. Who’s Graham?

Hannah: He’s my best friend. The Scott to my Tessa. 

She wonders if Graham is gay too. Of course Hannah doesn’t know she’s gay, so she wouldn’t have knowingly made the comparison.

Tessa: Tell Scott to put back at least four bags of chips.

She yawns and stretches while she waits for the answer. Maybe a mid morning nap? The idea seems forbidden and decadent and once it’s in her head, all she can think about.

Hannah: He says he’ll put back 3 and that I have to get off my phone because I’m causing “havoc” in the grocery store. See you at 1:00!

A series of random emojis follows and then radio silence.

A nap it is.

“Hannah!” She can hear Scott’s voice coming from the backyard, so she heads around the side of the house where she’s hoping to find a gate. “The pool has more floaties than water. Stop now.”

He laughs, and Tessa comes around the corner just in time to see him catch Hannah around the waist and pull her close. He pushes a curl out of her face before brushing a quick kiss on her lips. Hannah smiles and throws the beach ball trapped between them behind her before pulling him in for a hug. She’s never actually seen them together before and as soon as she does she’s hit by a realization.

Scott is totally in love with Hannah. Head over heels. She can see it in his face, his eyes, every inch of his body. The tenderness of his expression and the possessiveness in his hands. It thrills her heart, because she’s never seen him like this. The only person he ever came close to looking at like that was her.

She watches them for a moment longer, love and longing clenching at her chest, as he runs his hands through Hannah’s hair and then down her back. She places little kisses on his cheeks and then his neck, finally going back to his lips.

“Why do you taste like cotton candy?” Hannah asks.

“Because we bought cotton candy,” Scott answers and tries to distract her by kissing her neck. Hannah’s having nothing of it, pulling him up to look her in the eye.

“That was supposed to be for later.” She smacks him on his bare chest, squirms out of the hug. “You are not a patient man.”

“I think I’ve been very, very patient.” His voice is intense, and Tessa decides it’s definitely time she made her presence known.

She ducks out of sight before calling, “You guys back there?”

“We’re here, Tess!” Scott calls back and both of them come to help as soon as she rounds the corner and they see how much stuff she’s carrying.

“What is all this?” Hannah asks as she takes packages out of her arms.

“Stuff to change into after swimming, dessert, a bottle of wine, some flowers for you and some beer for Scott and some chips because I heard you were running low.”

Hannah laughs so hard she has to put down the bag she’d taken from Tessa and brace her hands on her knees. Scott just shakes his head, but there’s a grin on his face.

When Hannah finishes laughing, she heads into the kitchen and Tessa follows leaving Scott to deal with the hammock he’s trying to set up.

“How did you talk him into a hammock?” Tessa asks as she takes a seat at the island and watches while Hannah puts groceries away in the fridge.

“It’s big enough for two,” she says and arches her eyebrows, and then picks up the flowers. “Are these really for me?”

“Of course.”

“I’m just not the type of person who gets flowers,” she explains as she carefully unwraps the flowers and searches for a vase.

“Even from Scott?” She’ll hit him if that’s true. Hannah just shakes her head, looks wistful for a moment, before the smile is back on her face.

“Can I get you something to drink? Marie and Patrice aren’t supposed to come until later, I figured it would be nice if the three of us had some time alone before they got here. Or I could disappear to my house and leave you two alone?” Hannah sounds almost nervous, and she’s not sure what she did to inspire the change.

“I’d like it if the three of us could spend time together, and I could really use a glass of water, and I’m not just saying that to be polite.”

Hannah beams and fills a glass of water from the container in the fridge, before calling out to Scott, “Do you want anything?”

“You and I could test out the hammock?” he says, his voice over the top suggestive, as he pokes his head through the accordion doors that lead out onto the deck.

“Tessa’s here.”

“I can be fast.”

“Not the selling point you think it is,” Hannah shoots back and Tessa laughs at both of them.

They end up back on the deck, but in the shade provided by the umbrellas, as it’s already ridiculously hot. The pool looks tempting but she wants to chat with them without distraction for a bit. She takes one of the lounge chairs, while Scott and Hannah end up on the couch across from her. Hannah tucks her feet under her up on the couch, and Scott immediately rests a hand on her ankle, as if he can’t bear to be close and not touching her. Again, her heart aches for something she’s never let herself have.

“Where are you heading after this?” he asks once they’re settled.

“I was supposed to fly to Toronto, but I cancelled my meetings and I think I’m going to head home and take some time.” She’d rebooked her flight just before she came over, a sudden desire to go home and finally figure out what the hell she was doing, overwhelming her. She knew it probably had something to do with finally resolving things with Scott, but also seeing him so settled, made her long to feel the same.

“And where is home now?” he asks. It’s a fair question, but it irks her all the same, both because he doesn’t know and neither does she.

“I think I’ll go to London.” She’s spent most of her downtime over the last two years in Toronto at an apartment she’d bought just after the Olympics as an investment. But she’s always hung on to her house in London and, in her heart, she still thinks of it as home. “Did you keep your house when you moved here?”

“Yup,” he answers and she checks to see if Hannah looks bored but she’s fully engaged in the conversation even though it has nothing to do with her. “I’m renting it out right now. I can’t quite bring myself to part with it yet, even though I don’t think I’ll ever live there again.”

“Shut up, you own two houses!” Hannah smacks his arm. “Is the other one as big as this one?”

“It’s just a regular sized house,” he answers. “Are you ever going to stop teasing me about this house?”

“Is it ever going to stop being a monstrous blight on the neighbourhood?”

Scott just shakes his head and turns his attention back to Tessa. “And then what’s the plan?”

“Damned if I know, but I guess it’s time I figured it out.” 

The first step in Operation: Stop Running Away from Your Life - figure out shit with Scott, seems to be going well. Step Two - Figure out what to do with the rest of the time - slightly less on track.

“I was thinking…” he starts and then shakes his head. “Never mind. It’s stupid.”

“Ooooo. Say it anyway,” Hannah says sitting up straight in excitement.

“What if next year we went on tour?” He barely manages to get the last word out before his face is red with embarrassment and he's off the couch and pacing the yard. “It’s too soon. Sorry.”

“It’s not…” His suggestion takes her by surprise, but it’s not as if she hasn’t thought about it far too many times for her own good. She misses skating with him, growing programs with him, she just misses him. “But what would that look like?” 

She goes over to where he’s standing beside the pool. He’s pulled out the pool skimmer and has put his full concentration on getting out a leaf that’s fallen in the pool. He stops when she puts her hand on hers.

“I don’t know, obviously not a full tour. I don’t want to be away from home for that long.” His eyes momentarily drift from her to Hannah and back again. She wonders if he even knows he did it. “But maybe we could do a couple guest appearances in Stars on Ice, a few dates in Japan? It’s almost a year away, so we’d have lots of time to get ready. If people are even still interested.”

“People are definitely still interested,” she says, thinking about all the notifications piling up as the pictures of her and Scott get spread around the internet. “Let’s think about it, but I’m definitely interested.”

“I’m…” He looks at her and smiles. “I’m excited.”

“I’m excited too,” Hannah calls from the couch. “Even though I have no idea what you’re talking about. You can explain it later.”

“You could come visit on one of the tour dates,” Tessa says and pulls Scott back to the sitting area. “Have you ever been to Japan?”

“Tessa, I’ve never been anywhere,” Hannah says and Scott pulls her closer and kisses her head. She’s about to ask why, because she senses that there’s more to Hannah’s story than she’s been told, but Marie and Patch arrive and it’s time for the party to start.

Late in the afternoon, Tessa finds Hannah in the kitchen. Her hair is still damp from all the time in the pool, and she’s thrown a pair of shorts on over her bikini but her exposed stomach and chest are starting to pink up from all the sun. Her cheeks are bright pink, but she looks so happy and relaxed that Tessa doubts she’ll complain about the burn.

It strikes her all the sudden, that Hannah really is quite beautiful and under different circumstances… well, there’s nothing wrong with admiring.

“Are you hiding in here?” Tessa asks. Hannah hadn’t said much, mostly sitting back and letting the four of them reminisce and catch up. She’d chimed in occasionally, and obviously knew Marie and Patch better than Tessa was expecting, but she mostly floated around on a ice cream cone floaty. When she’d flipped off Scott for suggesting she might want to put on some more sunscreen, he’d dove into the pool and pulled her in.

“Hey, I was just getting dinner sorted.” Scott’s honking laugh drifts in from the backyard and they both turn and smile in his direction, even though he can’t see them. “I’m glad everyone is having fun.”

“A pool party was a great idea.”

“It was mostly a selfish idea, but I’m glad it worked out. It would be great if you could say something about wanting to be able to use the pool next time you visit.”

“I’ll make sure to throw it in there.” 

They’re quiet for a few minutes as Hannah putters around the kitchen and Tessa watches her. She’s surprised by the silence. There’s not many people she feels comfortable enough with not to feel like she has to talk.

“I’m so glad you came to visit.” Hannah says suddenly. “I don’t think Scott would have ever been whole again if you two hadn’t made up. I just really like him and I want him to be happy and don’t think he ever would be without you.”

“I just want him to be happy too.” It’s really all she ever wanted, sometimes at the expense of her own happiness, but she thinks they’re both past that now.

“Perfect.” Hannah smiles and her cheeks pink even deeper. “So, do you want a hamburger or a hot dog?”

“I’m gay.” The words tumble out of her mouth, and she has to take a step back from the surprise of them. She’s only told a handful of people, had to work up the courage to tell those who she was closest to for years before she finally did. And yet here she is telling a woman she barely knows.

“Ok,” Hannah says and smiles.

“Ok?” She wasn’t sure what she expected her to say. Ok wasn’t it, but it’s somehow perfect.

“Yup, ok.” 

“Great.” Tessa nods and then nods again and then has to tell herself to stop nodding so she doesn’t look like an idiot.

“So that’s a no on the hot dog then?” Hannah says when Tessa stops nodding and they both laugh so hard that Scott comes in to see what’s going on. When he sees them, he just shakes his head and goes back outside.

“You don’t have to work tonight?” Tessa asks Hannah through a yawn. Marie and Patch went home hours ago, and it’s dark out but the three of them are still sitting out by the pool. Tessa’s stretched out on a lounger and Hannah and Scott are sharing the hammock. Everyone is half asleep, but she wants to hold on to the evening just a little longer.

“Just Thursday to Saturday. It’s mostly older people who come to listen to live music and they don’t go out on Sunday nights.” Hannah’s face is half buried in Scott’s chest and the other half covered by her hair. She shivers visibly and he pulls her a little closer.

“Maybe next time I come visit, I could come see you play?”

“Sure,” Hannah mumbles. She sounds like she’s moments away from falling asleep.

“She’s allowed to come see you sing, but I’m not?” he teases.

“I like her better.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t,” she agrees, her voice barely audible. He looks at her and raises his finger to his lips. They sit in silence for a while; Scott has always been one of the people she felt comfortable in silence with. 

“Could you bring me one of the blankets?” he asks after a few minutes of watching the stars. 

“She asleep?” Tessa asks as she stands up and retrieves one of the blankets, laying it over him and Hannah. She grabs another one for herself on the way back to her lounger.

He nods and pushes Hannah’s hair out of her face. “She falls asleep like a little kid, all at once and then she’s out cold.”

“I thought you weren’t sleeping with her.” He just gives her a look. “You’re totally in love with her.”

“I really am,” he whispers, but Hannah doesn’t stir.

“Are you going to tell her that?” There used to be a time when the idea of Scott being in love filled her with dread. Now it fills her with a joy she never expected.

“I just need to make sure that she feels the same way. I don’t want to scare her off.” He moves a little and Hannah just keeps sleeping, so he eases out from under her. As soon as he’s moved away, she starfishes across the entire hammock. Scott grabs a pillow from a nearby chair and puts it under her head before settling onto the lounger beside Tessa.

“She’s head over heels for you,” she says and he grabs her hand and kisses it.

“She might be using me for my pool,” he answers, and looks back over at Hannah.

“True, and your air conditioning.” He laughs. “But seriously she loves you. You should tell her how you feel.”

“I’m going to.”

They’re quiet for a bit, holding hands like they did when they were skating. Back then they did did it unconsciously, now it’s a choice. 

“I told her I’m gay.” 

He squeezes her hand tighter. “That’s a surprise.”

“It was for me too. I’m not ready to be out, but I didn’t want there to be any secrets hanging over us. And, I don’t know, she just feels like someone you can trust with your secrets.” She hasn’t known Hannah for long but she feels like someone who was always meant to be a part of her life.

“She is.” 

“I’m glad she can give you all things I never could.” They both smile at that. In another life she wonders if they’re together with two kids and a dog. “It’s good to see you happy.” 

“I want that for you too.” He rolls on his side so he’s facing her and she does the same.

“I think I’m finally ready for happiness.” She hadn’t been before, not sure who she was and what she wanted. Still feeling guilty for not being who everyone wanted her to be, but she’s starting to realize it’s time to put that all aside.

“So how do we make that happen?” He asks, always one for plans.

“I’m going to go home, and I’m just going to be for a bit.” She never has. Even when she was on “vacation” she was always working, always striving for the next thing. 

“I like that idea.”

“And then I think I’ll come visit in a month or so, if that’s ok?”

His eyes shine with excitement as he nods. “You better bring your skates.”

“I will. Let’s take a picture together” 

They put their heads together and snap a selfie. It’s not her best angle but they both look so happy that she doesn’t care, and immediately posts it to social media, along with a picture of her, Hannah and Scott together and another with the three of them with Marie and Patch, with the caption: Old Friends and New Friends. 

She hopes including Hannah in the pictures will be enough to quell the rumours of her and Scott’s romantic reunion, but she knows that people see what they want to see.

She yawns so hard, her eyes water. “I honestly don’t want today to end, but I think I better get back to the hotel.”

“Let me get Hannah into bed and then I’ll drive you.” He kisses her hand one more time before getting up and moving to the hammock.

She’s about to turn down his offer when she realizes he hasn’t had a single drink all day. She can’t remember the last time she saw him at a social event without a drink in his hand. She’s not sure what’s brought on the change but she suspects it has something to do with Hannah. A mystery to be solved another day.

“Do you want me to drive you to the airport in the morning?” he asks and hands her the blanket covering Hannah. She doesn’t stir as he pulls it off her.

“My hotel has a shuttle, besides you have to work.” 

“I’m sure Marie wouldn’t mind,” he says as he squats down and starts tickling Hannah in the ribs. She vaguely swats at him and turns her face away.

“It’ll be easier if you don’t.” It’s going to be hard enough to say goodbye to him tonight when she'll be able to control her emotions. She doesn’t want a scene at the airport.

He nods because he’s already back to reading her mind, before he pulls Hannah up into a sitting position.

“Just let me sleep here,” she mumbles.

“Your neck won’t appreciate it if I do.” He gets her to her feet and Tessa follows as he pulls her into the house.

“Today was the best day,” Hannah says, as they reach the bedroom.

Scott kisses Hannah’s forehead and then looks directly at Tessa before he says, “It really was.”

And she can’t help but agree.

She gathers up her things and calls an Uber while she waits for him to return from the bedroom. She doesn’t want to say goodbye to him in the car, a rushed farewell before she jumps out. She wants to say goodbye to him in this ridiculous house, that seems less so with each passing moment. There are parts of him everywhere, of Hannah too. The house looks like it’s beginning to be loved, in the process of becoming a home. And she can see hints of a future there, of the lives that might be led, the possibilities of holidays and celebrations, of joy and sadness, maybe one day, weddings and children. And it fills her with joy, but also makes her wistful, because she doesn’t want to miss it.

“You ok?” he asks when he comes out of the bedroom. “There’s a funny look on your face.”

She nods and he accepts that, knows that she’s lying a little, but that in this case it’s ok. “My Uber will be here in two minutes.”

“That doesn’t give us long to say goodbye.” He pulls her into a hug.

“That was the point.” She can feel herself tearing up a little, and decides it’s ok to cry.

“Thank you for coming here, and for forgiving me and just for being you.” He’s crying too, holding her even tighter.

“Thank you for calling.” She’s not sure she ever would have done it herself. Her pride was almost her downfall.

“I love you, kiddo,” he says when her phone bings to let her know her ride has arrived.

“I love you too.” 

And they hold on for just a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another special thanks to only_because3. As a mostly straight woman, I was nervous about writing a gay character and her help, advice and insight have been invaluable. I'm so lucky to have her as a friend.


End file.
